What do you do?

What do you do when you feel for the first time you want to run away? 

What do you do when you just desire to tuck your kids in bed, say goodnight and get in your car and drive........drive.......drive?

What do you do when you realize you cannot do it all? You cannot homeschool these kids? You cannot teach them to be grateful and thankful for what they have? You cannot teach them how to rely on your faith? Regarding that right there...relying on your faith...when did it become so complicated?

"You cannot present the Bible like that in today's society because it doesn't work for this generation". 

"You cannot just present the Bible and verses to help someone in a tough time it needs to be life experiences".

"The Faith that our ancestors had just doesn't work for our day and age".

What about Jesus came...the Son of God...God in the flesh came to die for our sins.  He took the full punishment.  He took and bore all of God's wrath and anger and NOT EVEN ONE OF US IS RIGHTEOUS ENOUGH TO DESERVE IT!

Fear the Lord...fear the God that created the heavens and the earth and that fear will allow you to look at the Bible.  The LIVING WORD OF GOD ... God's very own words.  YES! God sent the Holy Spirit to men to write the words of the AUTHOR AND PERFECTER OF OUR FAITH! Men did not decide which stories were put in the Bible ... there is no divinity the mankind...just God himself.  God is not inconsistent...he doesn't change.  He knows the beginning and the end and He knew that when the bible was written.

***officially off my soapbox***

What do you do when you possibly cannot intervene in yet another fight? What do you do when you have one child who whines at everything you say? What about one child who tells you "no" every time you instruct him? What about one child who is loud and doesn't listen, won't (or can't) look you in the eye to instruct him? What about another child that is "sneaky" and tries his absolute hardest to get out of anything you ask him to do? 

What do you do when you think so unworthy of the Love of God because you've lost your patience one more time and yelled...got angry and bent down low and just let it out...tears beyond tears?   What do you do when you get into "survival mode" and realize your relationship with Christ is not where it should be (worlds standards)? What do you do when you've hit survival mode and your prayers feel empty...unheard...you feel unworthy to lift them up? 

I really don't have the answers.  Some think I have it all together because I can homeschool a 7 year old, 6 year old, 5 year old and 2 year old while running a photography business, baking home made bread, cleaning the house and serving my husband.  I do not have it all together.  Weekly I cry and weekly I feel like a failure. 

satan weaves his shallow lies......

I need to remember who my battle is with and who already has the victory.  I cannot change my kids...but God can.  He can change me and in turn change my kids...

there's nothing that my hands can do to save my guilty soul...

I forget the power of prayer.  I forget it's my lifeline with Christ.  I forget....

What would you do?