Thanks be to God....this is just what I needed

I have a few addictions....here they are starting from most serious to least serious..

1. Coffee

2. Coffee Mugs

3.  Books

4.  Christmas Decorations

Some might say (those who have no addictions) that these are horrible things...I know it's a "mind" thing but there is something incredibly relaxing to me...even freeing a little to sit at night with a hot steaming cup of coffee and a good book.

A while ago I saw a friend post to her sisters wall on facebook (also a friend) something about trying out the book Love and Respect in the Family by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs.  So naturally while I was out with my brother I picked it up and placed it on my way too full "unread" shelf on my bookshelf.  Three times I went to read it and had no desire to be told how I wasn't handing my family right. Last night after another bad night for bedtime...I took a bath and grabbed the book (because it was there right in front of my eyes).  

A few weeks ago I posted about how I had had enough.  I felt like a horrible mother for having the urge to put the kids in bed, tuck them in with kisses and getting in my van and driving...away...forever.  

God knew I needed to read this book because one of the stories by the wife of the author talks about how she had these same feelings.  Like the story was identical about her wanting to hop on a motorcycle and drive far away.  

I highly recommend this book.  In the first 30 pages I underlined almost 30 times.  This isn't a self help book...it's a book backed with Scripture and life experiences to back up that Scripture to give you insight from parents who have been there and their kids who are there now...wisdom in loving your children and the respect we should get in return.  

Love it already! 

Thanks Sadie for posting on your sisters wall so that I was encouraged to grab the book myself. 

Advent....it's almost here....

Advent means...."coming".  Celebrating Advent means we are celebrating the coming of Jesus.  We celebrate the fact that Christ came as the Savior of the World.  

God is ridiculed as a cruel, unloving, unjust God yet how do he present his Son? as a baby.  The Son of God whom the heavens could not contain was born of a virgin and he came slow and soft...like the still snow.  He could have come triumphantly and loud but our God chose to come in love...through a miracle of the virgin birth.  

Christmas is a magical time for me.  Not because of some fake person that my parents told me about or that always showed up at Christmas parties, but because of the still, small child called WONDERFUL, COUNSELOR, ALMIGHTY ONE  who was born for one purpose and one purpose only...to save me from my sins.  My heart breaks for those who don't believe in this.  Who celebrate to give a performance, show off money, make a kid happy with one more pointless and needless toy.  Big and glossy, fast and hurry is how the world turns.  There's never enough time in the day...hurry, go, fast....hurt. That is how we run.  But God, "when He comes - He shows up in this fetal ball.  He who carved the edges of the cosmos curved Himself into a fetal ball in the dark, tethered Himself to the uterine wall of a virgin, and lets His cells divide, light splitting all white.  HE GAVE UP THE HEAVENS THAT WERE NOT EVEN LARGE ENOUGH TO CONTAIN HIM AND LETS HIMSELF BE HELD IN A HAND."

 advent wreath for 25 days of remembering our Savior Coming...candle for each night

our Jesse Tree....

"The mystery so large becomes the Baby so small, and infinite God becomes infant.  The Giver becomes the Gift, this quiet offering."

We celebrate Advent every year and each year I become more anxious to get there....anticipating re-learning and re-living the Christmas Story.  Reading scripture every night with the kids from The Greatest Gift

hanging ornaments on our Jesse Tree.  Counting the 25 Days of Christmas together to spend slow, quiet, still time with my family.  Intentionally putting Christ back in Christmas because over time it has been taken away. 

It's late November and it's not too late.  Ann Voskamps book The Greatest Gift is at any local book store.  Liz Curtis Higgs book The Women of Christmas is also there and is a great devotional for you...mother of the family, sister in Christ, daughter of a King. Ann's free Jesse Tree ornaments are free and printable.

I hung 25 days of Christmas on our tree as decorations this year....ranging from baking cookies for our neighbors, making a shoebox nativity, lighting Advent Candles, Read Scripture, making ornaments, family nights and so on.  

The purpose of this Christmas is to bend low, be slow and write this story on your heart.

Advent is coming.... I'm so overwhelmed with Joy!

Marriage Challenge #26

So many times there are things that just get in between our marriages. 

Many times we don't recognize them until they are too late.  I am incredibly grateful that I was taught boundaries in marriage early in life.  I've mentioned before the past that I've learned so much from...especially in marriage.  

"Take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously with the wife of his youth.  For the Lord God of Israel says that He hates divorce, 'for it covers one's garment with violence,' says the Lord of hosts."

~Malachi 2:15,16~

Gods intention for marriage is this gorgeous, Christ exalting union that leaves others speechless at the relationship.  If a marriage is designed to be Christ exalting, will not Satan desire to attack that all the more? Is not Satan a deceiver and liar? 

Things that can get in between our marriage may not seem big to us...but we are being deceived.  You must pray protection over your marriage because that is a union that is created to Glorify God greatly.  You must evaluate constantly and look to see where you are breaking some boundaries.  You must pray daily for God to show you what is coming between your relationship with Him and your relationship with your husband.  Like Molly said in her post...if we are drowning in sin how can we hear God speak to us? We need to be right with God before we can be fully right in our marriages.  

Some of the boundaries we have set up are as follows:

I share no emotional feelings or deep personal feelings with men and Brian does the same with women.

We make sure at gatherings that we are never alone with that of the opposite sex.

We do not intimately hug the opposite sex (Yes a friendly side hug is okay but we honestly don't hug the opposite sex at all...we stay clear and do a hand shake, wave, fist pump ;) ). 

We do not study the bible alone with the opposite sex

We do not talk about our marriages with the opposite sex

We pray, we talk and we desire God to protect our marriage. 

The reason we never confide in the opposite sex is because it can be so dangerous.  It can lead us women especially to find emotions with another man other than our husband.  Thoughts of infidelity may rise and honestly nothing good comes from that.  Think of that and remind yourself every time that nothing good will come of it...maybe a slight adrenaline rush...that's it. 

Is there something, maybe listed above, or maybe that the list above helped you identify that might be getting in between your marriage? What about something completely different? I want you to evaluate your marriage relationship today and brainstorms ways to bring you and your husband closer.  Pray! PRAY! Pray for God to reveal it!

"Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor.  For if they fall, one will lift up his companion.  But woe to him who is alone when he falls, for he has no one to help him up."

~Ecclesiastes 4:9, 10

Lord, I pray you would protect our marriage from anything that would harm or destroy it.  Shield it from our own selfishness and neglect, from the evil plans and desires of others, and from unhealthy or dangerous situations.  May there be no thoughts of divorce or infidelity in our hearts, and none in our future.  Set us free from past hurts, memories, and ties from previous relationships, and unrealistic expectations of one another.  I pray that there be no jealousy in either of us, or the low self-esteem that precede that.  Let nothing come into our hearts and habits that would threaten the marriage in any way, especially influences like alcohol, drugs, gambling, pornography, lust or obsessions.  Unite us in a bond of friendship, commitment, generosity, and understanding.   Eliminate our immaturity, hostility, or feelings of inadequacy.  Help us to make time for one another alone, to nurture and renew the marriage and remind ourselves of the reasons we were married in the first place.  I pray that my husband will be committed to You, Lord, that his commitment to me will not waiver, no matter what storms come.  I pray that our love for each other will grow stronger every day, so that we will never leave a legacy of divorce to our children.

Today's Challenge is by a God fearing woman.  I am honest here....this was hard for me to read but it's a reality I keep telling myself but do nothing about.  How can I strive to be a godly wife and mother if I, myself am not godly?  Here is a great quote I came across...

"It's not a parents responsibility to have Godly Children...It's a parents responsibility to make sure their children have Godly parents!"

Laboring in Vain 

  I’ve been praying, asking the Lord what to share with you ladies…and while this is nothing new, it is hard, and it is life changing.

My conversation with God went a little like this:

  “OK God, there’s just two days left until my post and I still don’t know what you want me to say.  What do these ladies need to know?  I’ve mentioned several topics to you, things I’ve learned…useful things…but I still don’t know what YOU want me to say.  Will you tell me?”

And he spoke these words into my heart.

They don’t know me.

  “Oh no.  I can’t say that.  Isn’t there something safe I can say?  Something useful, witty maybe, nice and cute, and…safe?”

Silence was His response.

  “Who am I to say they don’t know you?  I don’t know you, not really, not like I should.”

Silence was His response again.

Have you ever noticed how loud silence can be?

So I will share what I’ve recently learned, what’s changing my life.

  Let’s start with a question: What are you striving for?  What is your goal?  Being a great wife or mother?  Juggling responsibilities from home, work, friends, kids, church, and still looking pulled-together on Sunday?  Restoring romance in your marriage?  What about faith…we all need more joy, along with more patience, right?  I’ve spent plenty of time asking God to help me in all areas of life, because I fall short everywhere.  There are entire books on all manner of important topics: marriage, parenting, time-management, budgeting, hospitality…and no matter how helpful these books are, or how much we study and apply knowledge, we continue to fall short.

And we can’t figure out why.

  “Why God, why doesn’t my husband love me anymore?  Why are my children in rebellion?  Why am I beckoned day and night for every little need, yet not appreciated?”

And the truth sinks in as I hear…

  “Why Molly?  Why doesn’t my bride love me?  Why are my children in rebellion?  Why am I beckoned day and night for every little need, yet not appreciated?”

  Do you hear what I’m telling you?  Here is where the rubber meets the road.  You can have a saving faith in Jesus, and not know Him.  You can believe the word of God, even live by it, and not be in love with the King of Kings.  Just like you can be married, and not be “one flesh” with your husband.

  So here’s the thing.  When we focus on Jesus, we can walk on water.  When the waves of busyness and trials of this life distract us, the waves start pulling us down.  Not because of the waves, but because of us.  Because we’re looking at the problem, rather than resting in the One who is the safe place in any storm.

  So instead of focusing on my husband and seeing his flaws, I’m purposing to look at the One who will make him perfect in His time.  Rather than pursuing hobbies, I’m going to spend my energy seeking the One worth finding.  Rather than despairing over circumstances, I’m going to thank Him for making all things work together for good.

  I like a good challenge to liven things up, and there is wisdom in placing hedges of protection.  But if God is not in the midst of your family garden, no amount of hedges will make it thrive.

Here is my challenge.  OK, it’s two challenges.  You can thank Stacie later. :D

1)   For the duration of this marriage challenge, rise early to go before the Lord.  Thank Him for everything, praise Him, and ask Him to restore your heart.  Only a heart full of the glory of God can pour out to those around it.  You cannot give what you do not have.

2)   Between now and the end of this challenge, write a personal “mission statement”.  Seek God’s purpose for the resources (time, money, talents, etc.) He’s given you and eliminate anything that may be in competition for those resources.  If it helps, make a list in order of your priorities. 

#1 Seek God 

#2 Hug my husband 10 times a day

…and so on.  If #10 is “bake treats for Sunday School” and your time runs out before you get to it, you know what needs to be eliminated.  When we skip to number 10 to say “yes” to others, we are telling our families “no” by default.

Obligating ourselves beyond what we can responsibly do is laboring in vain.  At the end of the day it’s how much we’ve loved that matters, not how much we’ve accomplished.

“Unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain who build it;

Unless the Lord guards the city, the watchman stays awake in vain.” Psalm 127:1

“Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God and keep His commandments, for this is man’s all.”  Ecclesiastes 12:13

and in case you missed this encouraging prayer....

Oh, Father God, please let us show your love to our families at home, when no one is watching but You and them. Please change our hearts from the inside out, in every place we are, so that everyone- especially our families- may see You and what your Son has done for us on the cross. 

You know our weaknesses- please give us words of life for our families this week. Please show us the right way and give us the words to speak through your Holy Spirit. Help us to love the people you have given us to live in our home every day. We need you to turn our hearts of stone into hearts of flesh.

Thank you Jesus for your work that allows us to become a new creation! We love you and praise you God for who you are, and for your mercy toward us. Thank you Father for your love!!

Marriage Challenge #20

Guest post today and she hit it right one...one of my favorite parts (among many) is to never consider yourself above "falling"...never consider yourself exempt from falling into sin!

Fall is my favorite time of year.  The beauty that is around sings the glory of a creative God who changes the seasons and colors the leaves in shades of brilliance.  With fall often comes rain.  This year seemed pretty soggy.  When the rain falls and beads up on the leaves I am thankful for the shelter that we have been blessed with.  And I started to think of other ways God shelters us and protects us.  In my wandering mind I started to think about umbrellas.  Let's think for a couple minutes on these contraptions. An umbrella has a rigid structure, and is covered in a soft cloth that gently arcs over you.  The elements may come pouring down and we are protected simply because we choose to use a resource that is so readily available to us.  I love parables and word pictures.  Sometimes as humans we have a difficult time grasping the eternal and unseen.  I am sure that is why Jesus spoke in parables.  In our limited minds we need tangible situations to understand that which is infinite.  What a teacher we have in Jesus!  In his humility not only did he become a tiny baby, when he started his ministry he spoke to us in word pictures in ways we could understand. So let's briefly talk about the umbrella.  

Through the marriage challenge you have read some great godly advice.  I am not going to give you more to add on.  We have plenty of guidance in God's word regarding marriage that has been discussed. I just want to put it in perspective for you.  If you take all of what God tells us about marriage we can think of it as an umbrella over us and our husbands.  When we diligently commit ourselves to do marriage "God's way" we have the resources that God gives us in his word to protect our marriage--an umbrella over us.  I have told my boys that we have the Ten Commandments because God loves us and wants us to be full of joy and knowledge of him, serving him, and there are boundaries to keep us safe and away from harm both physical and spiritual.  Protection from the elements.  Regarding the many chapters and verses about marriage, we need to realize they are set in place to keep us close to God and our spouse, away from harm. 

When we step away from God's protection we expose ourselves to those elements.  God gave us protection for a reason, because he loves us and he loves marriage.  The very first institution ever created was marriage.  After the fall God did not send us out into the world without protection.  As this world seems to get crazier by the day, use the shelter that God graciously gave you to protect your marriage.  Doing marriage God's way doesn't mean we won't face the storm.  It just means that we will use the resources God has given us to protect our marriage from the pounding rain.  

The moment you feel you don't need that umbrella of protection, you start exposing yourself to the elements.  Wandering thoughts, pride, bitterness, nitpicking,  envy of other couples, wanting more...Never think you are above these thoughts.  We need to be ready to take every thought captive, to imagine ourselves pulling back our thoughts under God's protection where they are replaced with the fruit of the spirit. And daily reminders are so important.  Have you ever stopped to think how short our memories are?  The Israelites had seen God's mercy before their very eyes in parting the sea and food literally falling from the sky to provide for their needs, yet they grumbled constantly--even going so far as to wish for their captivity back!!  We are so quick to forget the mercy of our loving heavenly Father and how he provides for us.  We need reminders DAILY, even hourly.  I encourage you too look around for eternal truths that can be seen in things visible so we can have reminders that God is FOR us, he is FOR our marriage and he offers protection that is readily available.  So grab your umbrella; you need it every hour.  And remember that God gives us boundaries and instruction to protect you and your husband.  We have what we need in God's word, all we have to do is use it.  So walk with your husband under the umbrella of God's protection, giving thanks that he loves your marriage enough provide what is needed in the storms of life.

What do you do?

What do you do when you feel for the first time you want to run away? 

What do you do when you just desire to tuck your kids in bed, say goodnight and get in your car and drive........drive.......drive?

What do you do when you realize you cannot do it all? You cannot homeschool these kids? You cannot teach them to be grateful and thankful for what they have? You cannot teach them how to rely on your faith? Regarding that right there...relying on your faith...when did it become so complicated?

"You cannot present the Bible like that in today's society because it doesn't work for this generation". 

"You cannot just present the Bible and verses to help someone in a tough time it needs to be life experiences".

"The Faith that our ancestors had just doesn't work for our day and age".

What about Jesus came...the Son of God...God in the flesh came to die for our sins.  He took the full punishment.  He took and bore all of God's wrath and anger and NOT EVEN ONE OF US IS RIGHTEOUS ENOUGH TO DESERVE IT!

Fear the Lord...fear the God that created the heavens and the earth and that fear will allow you to look at the Bible.  The LIVING WORD OF GOD ... God's very own words.  YES! God sent the Holy Spirit to men to write the words of the AUTHOR AND PERFECTER OF OUR FAITH! Men did not decide which stories were put in the Bible ... there is no divinity the mankind...just God himself.  God is not inconsistent...he doesn't change.  He knows the beginning and the end and He knew that when the bible was written.

***officially off my soapbox***

What do you do when you possibly cannot intervene in yet another fight? What do you do when you have one child who whines at everything you say? What about one child who tells you "no" every time you instruct him? What about one child who is loud and doesn't listen, won't (or can't) look you in the eye to instruct him? What about another child that is "sneaky" and tries his absolute hardest to get out of anything you ask him to do? 

What do you do when you think so unworthy of the Love of God because you've lost your patience one more time and yelled...got angry and bent down low and just let it out...tears beyond tears?   What do you do when you get into "survival mode" and realize your relationship with Christ is not where it should be (worlds standards)? What do you do when you've hit survival mode and your prayers feel empty...unheard...you feel unworthy to lift them up? 

I really don't have the answers.  Some think I have it all together because I can homeschool a 7 year old, 6 year old, 5 year old and 2 year old while running a photography business, baking home made bread, cleaning the house and serving my husband.  I do not have it all together.  Weekly I cry and weekly I feel like a failure. 

satan weaves his shallow lies......

I need to remember who my battle is with and who already has the victory.  I cannot change my kids...but God can.  He can change me and in turn change my kids...

there's nothing that my hands can do to save my guilty soul...

I forget the power of prayer.  I forget it's my lifeline with Christ.  I forget....

What would you do?

Marriage Challenge Day 15

Alrighty ladies....how are we doing? I have to admit this weekends challenges have changed for me. 

Wednesday morning my husband said goodbye to his grandpa.  Yes he was older but at 80 I hope I am still running around with great grandkids.  The family planned things super fast and now we are faced with a day filled with visitations yesterday and a funeral today and then my husband leaves for deer camp tonight. So instead of any challenge...I challenged myself to be a good comfort for him...pray for him, keep him smiling and constantly catching his eye across the room to let him know "I am here and I love you so much".

I am excited he gets to get away for this deer camp.  Here's a little history...in the past 11 years my husband has lost his brother in a horrible 4-wheeling accident, lost both of his grandparents on his dad's side while they were just in the their 70's, lost his aunt and uncle in a horribly motorcycle accident and now his grandpa.  He's had is fair share of deaths so this trip...is much needed after a day of visitations and a funeral.

For those of you whose husbands are leaving for the weekend or even just hunting all weekend your challenge is to simply be of encouragement.  It's important that we all get "me" time.  We tend to think we deserve it more than he does but in all honesty we need to change our attitudes.  We need to encourage them to go out...pack them a little snack and a little bible.  Pray that they are refreshed in their alone time or in their time with other men.  Pray that while he sits in the woods alone that he can come to God and just "be still". 

If your husband isn't a hunter the daily challenges will still be posted and I encourage you to continue with them :). 

Today we are going to pray for his trials.  We've talked about this before but our husbands do face struggles, trials, temptations and moments of disrespect in the workplace.  It's not all peaches and cream for them to leave and go there.  For some it might be...but for the majority they are going to face trials.  Even outside of the workplace he will face trials.  Why? If we never suffered anything, what kind of shallow, compassion-less, impatient people would we be?  

"count it all joy, when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience" (James 1:2,3)

Now when our husbands face trials our reaction is very very important.  I'm telling you ladies this one is a challenge for me.  Put yourself in his shoes for a moment.  If you come home from work and you had a bad day.  A day full of disrespect, big decisions or things that just irritated you.  You come home and lay it out/vent to your husband and his reaction encourages his irritation.  Right? no....not right.  This one is hard for me because I am very protective of my husband.  He is a great man and when he gets trampled on at work I get defensive.  What should our attitude be? Prayer...consoling....just lending an ear, a hug and a kiss.  There are some situations where you offer advice if he asks but for the most part...just listen and love on him.  Let him know that he is a great man and you respect him.  And pray, pray PRAY! 

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" (phillipians 4:13)

Our suffering will seem like nothing compared to the glory of God's work in us, if we have the right reactions in the midst of the struggle.  Let him know you are praying for him and this particular struggle.  Let him know that if nothing can separate him from the love of God, then no matter how bad it gets, he always has hope.  It's your encouragement and your prayers and the determination of your husband to stand strong in faith and wait for God to answer his prayers that will save him from the heat and keep him afloat.

pure honesty.....the naked truth?

I don't have a title for this blog post because I can't seem to find one that fits it.  The naked truth? Making myself really vulnerable and revealing what life is really like in the NOW. In this moment.

Life....is hard.  I know that...always have.  Never has life been a breeze for me and I'm sure a lot of you.  I grew up in a nasty divorce.  Watched my parents throw hate comments at each other, watched them re-marry and watched them both get to really really low points in their life.  Split families are not God's plan and I will firmly attest to the destruction and consequences it has.

Back to the point! Life is hard.  I have four boys age 7 and under and this year...ha crazy me! I decided to homeschool.  Last night Brian came home and told me that two women approached him at Awana and "talked" me up.  Well that tells me I'm not being honest enough (ha!).  

A couple of weeks ago I can honestly say that I felt like I was drowning.  Hurry hurry hurry...go go go....do do do....meet everyone's expectations.  My kids, my husband and my business.  I cannot do it.  Ok I know what some of you are thinking..."it's okay God has this planned....it's okay God won't give you more than you can handle"... but really? I know those words are very often used for comfort and I will never look down on anyone who uses them.  Because in their heart...they don't know why life is hard...the don't understand it and they have no words except for these. 

But I don't necessarily accept those.  I do believe God gives us more than we can handle so that HE can handle.  If God only gave us what WE could handle wouldn't we less and less rely on HIM to handle? Today we so often take the focus off of OuR GREAT GOD and put it on humans....broken vessels...and weak.  What about God has this planned? No...I do not believe so.  God's plan was perfect and we screwed it up.  I watched this week as my family who I love watched their dad, grandpa and friend died.  That was not God's plan.  His plan included no death.  God does not find it easy (in my opinion) to watch his children fall to their knees...get to low places in life that border depression or an emotional downfall.  But he rejoices when we get there and cry for his name to help us get back up.  

The time is nearing....the time (read about my journey of photography ending) i've been dreading but have been given an incredible peace about.  And although I will miss it incredibly nothing will replace the time I lost with my family because of photography.  Birthdays, holidays, events, night time suppers, bedtime, family walks and family vacations.  Nothing is worth missing this.  I want to be there and I want to remember my kids and I want my kids to remember me.  I want to walk through everyday as though my feet are kissing the earth .  Everyday a day to slow down and get rid of the hurry that really hurts and just focus on God's grace and his blessings.  

This challenge hits close to home for me and maybe for you ladies too.  In this day and age, technology is all around us.  It is so easy to get on our smart phones or computers to quick check on Facebook for any new pictures a friend has posted, or to see if anyone has a status update.   Or, Pinterest.  What a blessing and a curse in one.  Yes, there are great DIY’s and recipes, but it’s never just a quick peek at what’s new either.  Ladies, my challenge is this, when your husbands are home, no phones or computers.  Let us devote all our attention towards our studly men.  For some, this may be easy, others it may be a little difficult.  Want to take it a step further?  After reading today's challenge, tune off from the internet if you don’t use it for work.  Every time you think about getting on Facebook or even Pinterest, pray for your husband instead.  Go through the list of prayers and dive into His word whenever you are tempted to get online.  Pray for your willpower too!  I will be praying for all of you ladies too for today!

Guest post by Dana Imhoff

A little {love} gift

First of all I wanted to thank you for doing this challenge with me.  I have to stay disciplined because it's really easy for me to serve you all and help you with your marriage and forget to keep these challenges for myself.

I love hearing how your husbands are responding or how you are responding.  I had a friend come to me at church yesterday telling her husband questioned here asking her, "what? do you like me?" :) that's so great!

I didn't want to give it away but I realize some need planning.  At the very end of this challenge I am going to ask you to do something special.  I don't to ask you to "re-write your vows" but more like write a new commitment to your husband about what you learned through this challenge and display it.

So a few ideas would be writing a letter and giving them this frame...

Here you would put a picture of the two you and and every week write why you love him.  I have one on his dresser.  

Have a photo session done with the two you and displaying those pictures on a wall in your bedroom with a plaque made the has your new commitment to him, on it. 

What are some other ideas? 

If you want a frame made please contact these two ladies who will make them.. there are many different options.  This is a chalkboard one but I know they can do different styles of paper with embellishments to fit your home or bedroom.  

Dana at mommyssanity2@gmail.com

Sarah at 4.paper.love@gmail.com

Also I just found this awesome place on facebook that makes rustic signs for a reasonable price!

City on a hill

https://www.facebook.com/cityonahilldecor

Happy Monday All!!!!!

Marriage Challenge #7

"The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?"

~Psalm 27:11~

I know these last few days have been talking about our husbands fears but I really want you to understand how important and real they really are.  I think men tend to show less emotion than us women...not all but as an average.  I can never tell when my husband has a fear eating at him...and it usually takes me asking him 10 times before he'll confess it.  Why? Probably because of another fear. 

"What if I can't make enough money?", "What if something happens to my wife and children?", "What if I get a terrible disease?", "What if my business fails?", "What if I can't be a good father?", "What if I can't perform sexually?", "What if no one respects me at my job?".  Fear can take hold of a man.  

It is our position to help our husbands overcome fear.  How? Admiration, affirmation, respect and prayer.  Allowing your husband to lead, encouraging him in his every action and admiring the man God created him to be. When you're in the presence of a strong and loving Father, there's no need to be afraid.  Significant things can happen in our lives when we don't allow fear to rule the situation. Don't get me wrong there are different situations and there are definitely fearful thoughts that come to mind as a prompting to pray but there is also a tormenting spirit of fear that paralyzes.  Luke 12:5 says that "I will show you whom you should fear: Fear Him who, after He was killed, has power to cast into hell".  The only kind of fear we are supposed to have is the fear of the Lord.

When you have the fear of the Lord, God promises to deliver you from your enemies (2 Kings 17:39), protect you from evil (Proverbs 16:6), keep His eye on you (Psalm 33:18), show you His mercy (Luke 1:50), give you riches and honor (Proverbs 22:4), supply everything you need (Psalm 34:9), reveal all you need to know (Psalm 25:24), bless your children and grandchildren (Psalm 103:17), give you confidence (Proverbs 14:26), a satisfying life (Proverbs 19:23), longevity (Psalm 145:19). 

"Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you, yes I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand."

~Isaiah 41:10~

"Lord, You've said in Your Word that 'there is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment.  But he who fears has not been made perfect in love' (1 John 4:18).  I pray You will perfect my husband in Your love so that tormenting fear finds no place in him.  I know You have not given him a spirit of fear.  You've given him power, love, and a sound mind (2 Timothy 1:7).  I pray in the name of Jesus that fear will not rule over my husband.  Instead, may your Word penetrate every fiber of his being, convincing him that Your love for him is far greater than anything he faces and nothing can separate him from it".

Your prayer challenge today is to pray for your husbands fears!

Marriage Challenge Day #7

"Though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh.  For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ."

~2 Corinthians 10:3-5~

To follow up on yesterdays post (Don't you love how God works?) we are going to be praying for our husbands minds today.  

Yesterday our guest post Cali wrote about how our husbands biggest fears is being a failure.  This isn't a rare thought in our mans mind.  It's a persistent, constant, eat at you thought.  My husband reminds himself everyday why he stays at work.  Although his mind is battling thoughts of "no good," "failure," "impossible," "it's over," and "why try?" I, as his wife, can choose to pray on his behalf that my husband will recognize that those are lies from the enemy and not God's truth. All men have an enemy who wants to undermine what God desires to do in their lives.  I can pray that his mind will hear words like, "hope," "prosperity," "possibility," "success," and "new beginning". 

Because when we marry our husband we become one an attack on his mind should be an attack on us as well.  This is not God speaking in our husbands minds, it's the voice of the enemy.  We should not stand by and watch deadly games being played with his mind and our lives.  The word of God is living and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the division of soul and spirit, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of our hearts.

Let's pray for our husbands to receive the mind of Christ and bring every though captive under God's control.

Marriage Challenge Day #6

Honor: respect that is given to someone that is admired; good reputation; good character or quality as judged by other people; a good name or public esteem; a showing of usually merited respect

In the Bible, the apostle Paul had a lot to say about honoring others, particularly our brothers and sisters in Christ. Consider Romans 12:10, 13:7, 1 Corinthians 12:23, Philippians 2:29, 1 Timothy 5:17. To give honor to someone is to raise them up in front of others and say, “This person is worthy of respect.”

Think of all the things your husband battles through his workday. Perhaps he has an overbearing boss who is constantly trying to take advantage of him. Or maybe he has a coworker who turns every task into a competition, making him feel inadequate on an hourly basis. What if he is trying to solve a persistent problem at work and just seems to keep failing? If your husband works with people, like mine does, he inevitably encounters no-win situations (you know, where you literally cannot please everyone at the same time, so someone is disappointed in you and isn't afraid to let you know it?). Now think of the things he battles at home (be careful, this may hit where it hurts…). Maybe it’s a son or daughter who acts out every evening at the dinner table. Or the persnickety washing machine that he has to try to fix…for the thirtieth time. Perhaps his mother has been calling once a week to remind him that he isn’t involved enough with his extended family. And when he learns that his wife shared with her mother about his lack of follow-through on that Pinterest project she’s been waiting on…

Our husbands are under a lot of pressure just from normal, daily life. One of a man’s biggest fears is failure, and our husbands are trying to make sure that others see them as successful and competent. The person who he most desires to see him as successful and competent, however, is you. One way you can show your respect for your husband is to tell him face-to-face that you think he’s competent and is doing a great job in his various roles. But what’s even more powerful is when you tell others that he is competent and is doing a great job in all his roles. In one of my psychology classes in college we learned about a study of children who were affirmed by their parents to their face, then “behind their backs” (but intentionally still within earshot of the child) to another person. Almost all the children responded with greater confidence when they overheard their parents affirming them to another person. And think about it – wouldn’t you feel more sure that someone really meant what they were saying about you if you knew they said it to another person? Human nature is odd.

Your challenge today is two-fold: (1) do not say anything negative or critical about your husband to anyone else; and (2) find a way to publicly honor your husband. That doesn’t mean each of us should go on facebook and tag our husbands in a status that says “@Johnny is the best husband ever!” Sorry if that was your first thought (it was mine, too, don’t worry!), but let’s be more specific and intentional about it. Is there someone you’ve been complaining to about your husband (your mom, sister, best friend, kids)? Make a point to call/text/email/communicate to them something wonderful about your husband today—and I encourage you to make a point to stop telling them the not-so-wonderful things about him. Or if you find yourself in a conversation with someone who knows your husband, say something about his character or accomplishments.

For some wives, this may be a particularly difficult challenge. What if your husband doesn’t display admirable character? What if you feel he isn’t worthy of public esteem and respect? What if he’s not even saved (or you wonder if he is)? All I can say is: give him something to live up to. No, don’t lie and say he is or has done something he hasn’t, but strive to find some admirable things about him to share with others and share them like crazy. Eventually it will get around to him that you think he’s admirable and he just may find that he wants to become even more admirable to you. In the meantime (and this goes for all of us), pray for him. Today’s prayer is for his growth in righteousness. Pray that God would keep working in his heart and his life to make him more like Jesus, to deepen his understanding of the Gospel and God’s grace, and to make him love and desire righteousness. Here’s a great verse to pray over your husband:

“With this in mind, we constantly pray for you, that our God may make you worthy of his calling, and that by his power he may bring to fruition your every desire for goodness and your every deed prompted by faith. We pray this so that the name of our Lord Jesus may be glorified in you, and you in him, according to the grace of our God and the Lord Jesus Christ.” (1 Thessalonians 1:11-12)

Start a new habit of honoring your husband before others. When tempted to say something critical or share that tidbit of disappointment you have in your husband with someone, combat the temptation by sharing something respectable, something you admire about him. Even if it never gets back to him, creating this habit will certainly change your heart.

Marriage Challenge Day #5

I'm so curious to see how you all are doing in this challenge.  I know it's easy to fall short but the nice thing about a challenge like this is you can fall away and come right back to it and now it's there on the facebook page and on my blog so you can start new if you want!

"Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh.  For the flesh lusts against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; and these are contrary to one another, so that you do not do the things you wish"

~Galations 5:16,17~

Today's prayer challenge is to pray for his temptations.  I'm going to give you a little history of my family so that you can see why I am SO passionate about marriages staying together.  Have you heard of generational sin? Do you believe it's true? I don't know exactly where it started in my family because I know generations ago everything was "hush-hush" but my family is saturated with divorce and affair.  When I say saturated I mean I have aunts and uncles who are on their third marriages, my parents both are on their third marriages and there have been multiple witnessed affairs.  This is not what God intended.  I kind of "preach" to my brothers and sisters to never consider themselves exempt.  We are that next generation and I.want.to.see.it.STOP!  I want my generation in my family to have marriages that are centered on Christ where NO ONE can separate.  So can you see why I am passionate? 

Did you catch something important up there? NEVER CONSIDER YOURSELF EXEMPT!  Never consider your marriage exempt from temptations overcoming it and destroying it.  Always keep your guard up.  My husband and I have very strict guards.  He and I have both trained ourselves to look away at any commercial, movie or show showing too much skin.  He do not go anywhere to be anywhere alone with the opposite sex.  We keep our conversations surfaced with the opposite sex...especially if it's concerning our marriage...especially me.  Women are more prone to temptation through emotions...a man paying attention to her.  

"The eyes of man are never satisfied"

Proverbs 27:20

If that's true temptation is always a possibility and we must be ever watchful.  Alcohol, drugs, lust for money or power, food addictions, pornography or sexual immorality.  As women i think we tend to look at the sexual immoral and pornography as in the mans court.  However, statistics are ever growing that women are just as prone to it, if not more.  50 Shades of grey anyone? The enemy of our souls knows where our flesh is the weakest and he will put temptations in our paths at our most vulnerable points.  The question is not whether or not there will be temptations, it's how we will handle them when they arise.  The bible says, "Blessed is the man who endures temptation; for when he has been approved, he will receive the crown of life which the Lord has promised to those who love Him" (James 1:12)

We can try all we want but the truth is only prayer, a submitted heart, and the transforming power of the Holy Spirit can work those kinds of miracles.  The best time to start praying? Now! Before temptations come your way.  Jesus instructed His disciples to "pray that you may not enter into temptation" (Luke 22:40).  Your marriage is going to be a statistic...make it a good one!

Today's challenge is to put effort into your appearance.  If you've already gone out and are at work already that is fine...do it tonight, or while you're at work.  Do you know what he likes you in? My husband would choose a baseball cap, a t-shirt and tight jeans...yeah.

Marriage Challenge Day # 4

Today's Challenge is to pray for your husbands affection and in turn demonstrate good, loving affection yourself. 

Today when your husband comes home greet him with a hug and a kiss.  Now I am not saying a sid hug with a pat on the back and a little peck.  I want you to drop whatever it is you are doing (if you get home after him this still applies), wrap your arms around him with a big bear hug, tell him you're happy he's home while looking at him and kiss him...make it a good one!

Many people, even godly men and women, live in marriages that are dead because there is no affection.  And women endure it because their husbands are good in other ways, or they don't feel worthy enough to ask for affection.  But this is not the way God designed the marital relationship.  "Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband" (1 Corinthians 7:3).  There is "a time to embrace," the Bible says (Ecclesiastes 3:5).  When you're married, it's definitely the time.  

My husband wasn't always affectionate.  He didn't grow up with it.  I truly believe that plays a huge part in things.  The first time I saw his parents kiss was at our wedding and maybe a few times afterwards.  I want my kids growing up watching their dad love on me so that they do not struggle with this in their future marriages.  Sometimes now my little one will run to me and hold my face and give me a good solid kiss (just like daddy's)...it makes me laugh out loud! How did my husband grow to be affectionate? Well, we've had many conversations about it but nothing I said really worked.  However, when I handed the situation over to God and AFFIRMED my husband every time he was affectionate...God changed him.  God played a huge part in his transformation but i believe my words played a big part as well.  When he heard what I liked or when I liked it even if it was something as simple as putting his arm around me in public, he lit up a little.  He got excited!

Sometimes affection isn't top priority in a mans life because they either lack the example or they group sex and affection together.  A woman's greatest need is for affection.  If you are in a marriage that lacks it, pray for the Holy Spirit's transformation!

Marriage Challenge Day #3 on Prayer

ahhhhhhh......we are going to get the tough ones out of the way first.  If we can tackle prayer on the closest things to our mans heart I feel the other's will fall naturally into place. 

Today you are praying for his sexuality...and yours.

On top of learning how to pray for his work and his wife ;) learn how to pray for your intimacy together.

"Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control"

~ 1 Corinthians 7: 4,5~

I've been a part of many conversations, some of which I wished I could close my eyes and plug my ears and travel to a far away land.  Men degrading their wives because they are not "satisfied enough", women degrading their husbands because they think they are pigs. It saddened me to witness such accounts.  This is not how God designed it or what God designed it for.  God did not design intimacy to be dirty, seductive or full of fantasies.  He did not design it to be selfish or only self-gratifying.  When two people love each other and together they want to please God, intimacy falls right into place.  Husband and wife are meant to pursue the pleasures God has created for the marriage relationship.  Paul tells us that our bodies are not our own when we marry (1 Corinthians 7).  That each of our bodies are at our spouse's disposal.  HOWEVER he does not state that we use each other's bodies for our own pleasure and that is it.  He tells us that we are give our husband what is his and he is to give you what is yours.  When sex in marriage is viewed rightly it is a beautiful picture.  It is compared to the pleasure awaiting us in Heaven.  When you take all worldliness out of your sexual relationship in marriage and focus on the Godliness you lose sight of all things selfish.  

Stop viewing your husband like the world portrays him...start viewing him as the ONE person God has chosen for you to share your body...your most intimate parts with.  Start viewing sex as something God created for you to enjoy with this one man.  When you view sex in your marriage in a Godly way...there is 100% satisfaction.  There is no need to fulfill anything ungodly.  There is no boredom.

I encourage you to find someone who is wise and has been through many years of marriage that allows you to open up to them about something as intimate as this.  Just one person.  Not all of your girlfriends on your next girls out.  This is not something that needs to be publicized to everyone.  Start asking God to change your view in your sexual relationship with your husband.  Ask him to wash away any past guilt and renew your heart and your mind and make your sexual relationship with your husband new and fulfilling.  Get out of your mind anything negative about your husband and only desiring sex 24/7 and be delighted that he desires you and that you can fulfill that desire to it's fullest.  Get in a mindset of serving him in a way no one else can and be delighted in that.  Do not view it as a duty or obligation...pray that you delight in it and in him.  Pray that God gives you new eyes for your husband and a new desire.  Let God work in the most intimate part of your marriage...trust Him. 

Today's challenge is to think of 3 things that your husband does that gives you butterflies.  Think about them and tonight when you are kid free or quite make sure you look into his eyes and tell him those things.  Tell him they make your heart melt or give you butterflies or makes you blush a little.  Believe me...they like to know :).

Marriage Challenge #2 on Prayer

Today I challenge you to pray for your husbands work.

"Let the beauty of the Lord our God be upon us, and establish the work of our hands for us; yes, establish the work of our hands."

~Psalm 90:17~

Whether your husband is still in school, trying to figure out what to do with his life, in the midst of the storm of mundane work or very successful at what he does....there is no denying he needs prayer.

A man's identity is often very tied up in his work.  He needs to be appreciated and he needs to win, and his work is often a means of seeing both happen.  If he is doing work that is demeaning to him, he feels devalued as a person.  If his work is not successful, he feels like a loser...not good enough.

God recognizes that a man's work is a source of fulfillment to him.  He says there is nothing better than for a man to "enjoy the good of all his labor -  it is the gift of God" (Ecclesiastes 3:13).  The fact that many men are not fulfilled in their work has less to do with what their work is than with whether or not they have a sense of purpose. 

If your husband is still in school, pray for him.  Pray for his focus and pray for his direction.  

If you husband is in the midst of the storm of mundane work (like mine), pray for appreciation, meaning and value.  Pray for direction as well and most importantly pray that God opens his eyes to see where God can use him and why he is there.  Pray that he has courage to share the Gospel or daring enough to find out how God wants to use him in that job.

Even if your husband has the perfect job and is very successful continue to pray for him.  Pray that he keeps his eyes on the eternal.  Pray that he has the courage to live differently than other successful men...that he has the courage to live for Christ and stand up for truth.  That he has the courage to not go with men who are not of truth.  Pray that he stays humble. 

Whatever the case your husband needs prayer in this area of his life.  Also, if your husband loves your family and wants to support them then more than likely they work hard.  Make sure they get time of rest and enjoyment.  He needs to reprieve from the weight of supporting a family, big or small.  If they don't they will be prone to burnout and temptation and falling away from God.  

~Colossians 3:23~

"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters".

Show your husband you appreciate him today for the little things he does for you!

Marriage Challenge #1 on prayer

On top of this month's Challenges we are going to work on prayer.  We all need a little more work on that right? I mean I'm really good at it when God brings me to my knees and forces me to but I am horrible at it when I'm having a perfectly good day and there is nothing wrong a.k.a. I don't need God that much today. 

Why is that? Why are we so much like Israel? We fall short and forget all of the time.  Do we not have their testimony to look on and learn from? 

Prayer, I believe, is going to play a huge part these challenges! For some of you, maybe you're already really good at keeping God in the front of your mind everyday and talking to him every minute.  For others, it might get worse before it gets better.  The important thing is that we learn to listen to what God is telling us.  We need to keep Him first in our minds through this challenge and our husbands second. 

So today, pray for you.  Pray for the wife of your husband.  If we want our marriage to thrive and be a light in this world where marriage is laughed upon, not needed or discarded easily, we need to be pray effectively for our husbands.  "Effectively"...not a legalistic effective "formula" but I believe in order for God to really speak to us...in order for us to have a close knit relationship with God we first need to get rid of sin in our lives.  We need to get rid of anger, resentment or anything resembling an ungodly attitude.  If you release those feelings to God in total honesty and then move into prayer, there is nothing that can change a marriage more dramatically.  We need a right heart before God. 

What is blocking that closeness with God in your life? Resentment? Sometimes I find it my life...okay often.  It grows really easily and it's usually jealousy of my husband.  He can drive to and from work without kids screaming in the background, fighting for attention or asking 100 questions within 5 miles.  I get jealous that he can go and fish on the river during lunch.  He gets quiet time.  That...turns into resentment and it comes out in my attitude towards him.  

Get rid of whatever it is standing between you and God today.  Pray for a clean heart...pray for your marriage and for this challenge.  That God will prepare your heart for what he has to say.  Pray that He will Glorified through this challenge and ultimately through your marriage. 

On a side note.  In today's challenge I mentioned "choose Joy".  This is a choice.  It's your choice to be joyful today.  To give thanks for what you have been given.  Every November we do this and I couldn't be happier about starting it again.  It's the Thankful Tree.  We keep it up year round but through the holidays is when we really use it.  We use in during Christmas with little ornaments and we have Easter Devotionals that we hang on it.  During November we give thanks.  

Start by going through the woods with your family this weekend and grab empty branches to fill a vase with. 

Grab colored paper or scrap paper or any kind of paper and start cutting.  Cut leaves, squares, circles or no shape at all.  Put a hole in the top and put some string through it.  Everyday talk with your kids about being thankful and choosing joy.  And ask them what they are thankful today and write it on a leaf and stick it on a tree.  This has caused great conversations and great time to give thanks through prayer to God.  I encourage you to do this with your family this weekend.  If you have a printer and ink ;) I encourage to print the devotionals off from this link ... you won't regret it!