I remember being in the Jr. High building U one Sunday and we were asked to go around and say one thing we want to be better at for the upcoming year. The leader in the class was younger than I and bless his heart but he had no idea what it meant when I said to be a "prayer warrior"...maybe that is an old Baptist term. Wherever it stems from for you...it's not a bad goal. To be so focused on prayer.......
Years later and I am still striving and honestly still failing. Yesterday I open my emails and there are prayer requests. There have been. Marriages falling apart, pregnancies failing, families being torn in two....and I believe God gives you rest in your own life to take on others. Is that a poor statement? God giving me rest from drama and hurt in my own life so that I can focus on someone elses.
God always amazes me. Are there times when I feel neutral? yes. I think everyone goes through that...but when I pray God always continues to show Himself faithful. I sit here thinking about all that needs to be lifted up to God and it comes to me....I prayed. I prayed that God would show me where His heart is breaking. I prayed, "break my heart for what breaks yours". Slowly and surely prayer requests come rolling in.
I am drinking coffee with my sister ... this wonderful woman of God who honestly just flourished and took off. If I can be truthful there were times in our life when I thought, "really, who is the big sister here"...I don't have that anymore.
We are drinking coffee and I grab a marker and rip up some computer paper into little squares, grab the tape and start writing, "pray for the x family at 2:30" and I stick that on the clock I look at all day. "Pray for the x family with the loss of their twins", "Pray for x and her pregnancy"... I start to tape these in my kitchen (where my life literally takes place) and tell my sister... "I don't know why people ask me to pray...I suck at it. It's not like I don't pray but I honestly suck at finding the time to sit in a quiet place and pray. And then when I do I forget what I need to pray about".
I think more about this throughout the day and feelings of being overwhelmed as I look at the clock at 2:48 and realize I forgot to pray for the x family because I put the note on the clock inside for 2:30 when I needed to be at my brothers school at 2:30... When I say I want to be a prayer warrior...I am looking to some great examples and I realized last night I need to be patient because these are my examples....and I am sure they didn't get there at my age or overnight....
This is my Great Grandma Weeber. I wish I remembered more about her because she was a beautiful woman of God but I don't. However what I remember about her is probably the most important....every time I went to see her she sat in a chair with her bible right open. She had beautiful hands. For a woman in her 90's she had beautiful hands. I remember a time going to visit her and peeking through her door. I snapped a mental picture...there she was sitting in her chair, bible open and praying. She was a true prayer warrior. An amazing model set for her family.
Then there is her daughter...my grandma. I know she is like her. I know she prays earnestly for her family and depends on God's faithfulness to bring them all back to him. Another great example.
I sit at my computer last night and this pops up...a message from my sister.
"Hey. So as I was doing my study tonight and reading our conversation from earlier came to mind. God knows you better than you know you. I think all these people that come to you with prayer requests 1). Trust you with their struggles and hardships. 2). Do so because God led them to you. And I think He is leading them to you because he wants you to be a prayer warrior. He sees that in you and He is going to keep giving you those chances to do His will. Does this make sense? I can't imagine it being easy especially if you feel like its an area that is hard for you but be excited about it. It looks like He is pretty excited about it just by looking at your prayer notes earlier."
She how she uses that phrase? It's in our family...prayer warrior. Because of the faithfulness of my Great Grandma and the faithfulness of my grandma...God is being faithful to them. These are my sisters and right now...there's three of us that are women of God and I pray earnestly that we set an example for that red head right there. I pray that we are a model for her that she can't deny...that we love the Lord so much and it shines through us so much that she wants to chase nothing else.
I stand amazed at God...all the time. Because these are my thoughts last night...and this is my devotional this morning.
"It's all right to be human. When you mind wanders while you are praying, don't be surprised or upset. Simply return your attention to Me. Share a secret smile with Me, knowing that I understand. Rejoice in My Love for you, which has no limits or conditions. Whisper My Name in loving contentment, assured that I will never leave you or forsake you. Intersperse these peaceful interludes abundantly throughout your day. This practice will enable you to attain a quiet and gentle spirit, which is pleasing to Me. As you live in close contact with Me, the Light of My Presence filters through you to bless others. Your weakness and woundedness are the openings through which the Light of Knowledge of My Glory shines forth. My strength and power show themselves most effective in your weakness."
"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness"
2 Corinthians 12:9
God is faithful, God is good all the time!
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