I feel like there is an indescribable "awe" when it comes to relationships with our fathers.  Do you think God had a little intention in that? Everyone longs deep in their heart for a good relationship with their dad.  Every girl longs for that protection of her "king" and every son longs for that relationship that gives the father's blessing...acceptance.  Maybe not every single person but I'm sure if you search deep down in your heart...there is an aching.  Yeah...I think God had some intention in that.  

I honestly don't remember my relationship with my dad as a young child.  Did you know there is such a thing as PTS for divorced children? I am pretty sure I have it.  I don't remember much before my parents very nasty divorce...but I remember all too much after it.  But I do remember having the longing and ache in my heart to have my dad view me as "his little princess". And I know my brother who is now 25 longed for that acceptance from our father...that blessing.  It was just truth. 

I hear it all too often from my childhood and now as well... "My husband comes home and just wants to relax" .... "He comes home and does what he wants to do and just expects me to do everything"..."He just wants me to not be tired when we go to bed...but I'm exhausted"..."I feel like I'm pregnant alone"....

Hearing these things has brought to my attention two things.  The first thing is that I am incredibly blessed to have the husband I do.  He is a rare gem.  The second thing is this...there is a crisis in our society with dads.  

When you become a Christian you are making a choice to die to yourself.  But for some reason I feel like that piece of truth gets lost in all of the verses about the man being head of the household...dominant ... the KING!  So here is my two cents on what I think we need in dads today...

We don't need a boss....we need a friendship.  We need you to make us a priority...we need you to value reading to your kids, teaching them everything you know, riding bikes with them and wrestling until you can't wrestle anymore....

We need to know we are not in this alone...when we throwing up all night we need to know that you would rather take it away from us if you could...we need you to try and understand what being home with our kids all day is like...that we never leave our "work" even if we as moms leave the house to "work"...

We need you to be the man of the house.  we need you to lead us because yes as moms we try very hard to train our child in the way they should go but God gave us this instruction and there is value in it...that the man should spiritually lead his family...

We don't want you to muster up your best piece of advice...we want you to pray with us.  

We want you to desire the thickening stomach from growing little miracles inside...

We don't want you to look like the world...

We want your patience (I just learned this one)... patience isn't settling your frustration or anger...patience is long-suffering.  We want you to be in this with us....not apart from us.  We want you to go to the zoo with us or the farmers market or the store...

we want a family...with a very present Dad.  

We want you to model our Father in Heaven...because our Father in Heaven see us as His children and he loves us and to love is to suffer...and he will suffer for us and he will suffer with us...and he carries us until we suffer no more...

This man I do life with....he is an incredible dad.  He doesn't go fishing by himself...he takes his kids with them.  He doesn't come home and expect me to do dinner and clean while he cleans the garage out...he takes the kids and teaches them how to clean the garage (power washing is fun).  He walks in the door and the first thing he does is kiss his bride (and yes he still calls me that to this day).  HE rolls up his sleeves and he suffers long until each last child is sleeping.  He tucks them in at night and reads.  He instructs them, he prays with them and teaches them how to pray.  He disciplines them in love and suffers with them while he disciplines.  He never complains if the laundry isn't put away and he can't find a work shirt in the early hours.  He loves and he really truly does love people.  A man like him is rare.  They are there and I am thankful I see them more and more...but to me this is a true man.  Not someone who can make it up test hill, or drink 7 beers in one hour and hold his own, who can pick up a girl at the drop of a hat or who can catch the biggest fish or survive in the wilderness...

all photos taken by Amy Oonk at Everyday Joy Photography 

you can find her links at the bottom of this post

To my boys....I pray that you continue to look to your Heavenly Father for your guidance in life...and I am thankful that your dad here...does the same thing.  I could consider this one of the BIGGEST blessings in my life...a Godly man to father our boys...

Happy Father's Day Brian...you have exceeded every expectation I could ever dream of as a father to our boys...

Everyday Joy Photography

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Everyday-Joy-Photography/49949424693

http://www.everydayjoyphoto.com/

 

 

 

Summer has sprung around here!  We have been picking our strawberries and taking care of the garden anxiously waiting it's produce!

 

 

Shhhh....don't tell the boys but we are still schooling on.  I haven't made an official announcement that "School is done!"...and I'm okay with that.  If you don't know this was my first year homeschooling.  Let me tell you again why! It is not because I am afraid of the government getting their hands on my children.  It is not because of the constant news that yet another teacher had another inappropriate relationship with a child.  It is not because teachers secretly push their agenda on the students and it's not because of common core.  It is simply because for us...public school wasn't working for our family.  My kids turned into completely different children once all day everyday started and in my opinion for my kids...it was too early and too much.  So through prayer and my husbands complete support...we pulled them out to teach them ourselves.  I cannot describe what a blessing that has been...being a family 24/7 and not rushing...purposefully living the slower life.  I am in love with it!

 

So we finished a homeschool group with a lot of other boys and although we didn't get to make it to every one it was still beneficial and fun!  We started immediately a series on gardens and growing God's garden.  The first week we talked about our garden and what we need to do to prepare our garden.  We then talked about God's garden and made a relation to everything in our garden to God's garden.  So prepare the soil...preparing our hearts.  Weeding out the bad weeks and stones...getting rid of bad attitudes and sin in our lives.  The second week we talked about planting our garden and planting in God's garden.  This was a two-fold.  Obviously we talked about what needs to be done to plant in our garden but what needs to be done to plant in God's garden.  We made the relation of planting seeds...going out and telling our friends about Jesus and what better way to do so than living it! And we talked about planting the Word in our hearts because "what our heart knows by heart is what our heart knows". We will continue to learn (it's a 7 week study) and I'll keep you updated.  But I found this book at the Spartan Variety (if you haven't been there you really should because it's not a dollar store...I basically get all of my gifts from there and decorate my whole house from there).

 

It's called "Seeds! Seeds! Seeds!" and it's about this grandpa who sends his grandson five different bags with crafts for him to do regarding seeds.  It's awesome and it made my kids want to do it.  So right now we are collecting seeds from fruits and vegetables we eat and putting them on a seed chart, comparing and contrasting them and learning about the different types of seeds.

 



 

The boys made a list of vegetables and fruits they would like to plant in their garden and so we did...we learned the different parts of plants and a little bit about organic gardening!

I will keep you updated on how that continues to go!

 

For the TASTE BUDS!

 

Yes this is a long post but I wanted to share two things I made yesterday and fell in love with!

First of all a couple times a week I'll do a mix of round potatoes and sweet potatoes grilled...I do this because occasionally a sweet potato with slip in my kids mouths and they don't complain ;).

Yesterday my husband was grilling them when he went to fridge and found Sargento Bruschetta Cheese in the door that I had bought for our anniversary.  His eyes lit up and says, "you're speaking my language now!".  He shredded that cheese right over top the potatoes while on the grill and OH.MY.DELICIOUS!!!! Seriously I suggest you all go out and try it this week! He sprinkled the potatoes with some salt, pepper, garlic and onion powder, a little olive oil and topped it with the cheese!!!!

 

 

 

THEN.....for dessert!!!!!  I canned peaches last year and I was really stingy on when we as a family could dive into them.  I gave the "go ahead" a few weeks ago and we have been eating them weekly.  Now I am realizing that peach season is approaching again and I have cupboards full of canned peaches!  So I took some peaches last night and divided them among a muffin pan.  I lightly sprinkled them with cinnamon and brown sugar and popped them in the oven.  I baked them at 350 degrees for 10 minutes.  I scooped out some fat free frozen vanilla yogurt and threw those peaches right on top and then sprinkled my delicious homemade granola on top and served it!!! Again...I was on cloud 9!!!!

 

 

 

 

As some of you know.  I felt incredibly blessed to be able to get away for the weekend to Mackinaw Island, MI with my husband.  It's rare that we get a trip just the two of us...in fact we did one two years ago in the WINTER to the U.P. so I'm not sure I call it a "vacation" but the one before that was on our honeymoon.  This year we celebrated 9 years of marriage and 16 years of being together!  We wanted to do something just the two of us, even if it was small and short.  We learned A LOT! Like you don't necessarily need to go to Mackinaw Island during the Lilac Festival because my HIGH (apparently out of this world high) expectations were not met as far as lilacs go! ;)  Mackinaw is definitely a trip you should budget for.  We figured we definitely could have both gotten Kayaks for the price it costs for this trip BUT we made memories! Thankfully we were told to bring our own bikes and thankfully we were told it's cheaper to go from St. Ignes so we did.  Everything on the Island costs money.  Even to go in front of the Grand Hotel costs $10 per person.  We just wanted to see a fountain...that was it and it took four attempt to get there so we gave up ;).  A hamburger costs $10 and a small Hi-C drink costs almost $3.  However...we had fun.  We watched the Lilac Race take off and we rode our bikes around the whole island...IN A DRESS! They had shirts there that said, "Mackinaw Island...biked it"...if they had one that said "in a dress" I would have paid the $25 for it (again everything was expensive).  We paid the little free to do the wine/beer tasting and surprisingly I found a beer that I actually liked! We biked to the Mayors Summer home and the fort, to Arch Rock and the Cemeteries, to the Grand Hotel and all the little side streets in between!  We laughed!  It felt so good to not have many worries and just be with each other...I tried to remind myself the whole weekend to not take that for granted! Friday when we got there we walked around the city of Mackinaw! That was fun going in and out of the shops and we found a few treasures.  We crossed the bridge and checked into our hotel room.  We went and got caramel corn at a cute candy shop and went out to dinner.  We got back to the hotel room around 7pm...sat in a HUGE Jacuzzi tub and literally vegged around until bed time.  We watched movies, watched the sun set on the Island and laughed, laughed and laughed some more!

 

The Grand Hotel...the longest hotel in America...

 

This is as close as I could get without paying the $20!!!!

The bridge while we were on the ferry.  There was a man behind us telling his girlfriend all of these facts about the bridge.  Did you know that all of the steel for the bridge was manufactured in the U.P.? It's a Michigan Made bridge!

Something about giving a photographer an iphone...not good...or good but annoying? I took a lot of pictures with my phone!

Good morning Mackinaw Island!

 



good night Mackinaw Island...

 



We laughed and laughed at this.  I really wanted to get a nice room for us.  They didn't have any Kings left just two queens with a Jacuzzi and a view of the Island.  We took it.  Funny this is Brian's back was super sore from driving (yes he is 30 going on 60) and so we slept in separate beds like old people! Hey we just figured it out early is all ;)....



 

 

Standing in front of the bridge swatting the horrible flies that were swarming the lakeshore (just in the City thankfully)...

 

I always try to be super grateful for trips like these because it gives me time away from the kids and allows me to come back refreshed and ready to be called mom again.  Anyone with me on that one? I from time to time change my name ;).  Sunday after church we spent time together as a family.  We took a bike ride to the lake and I was able to just soak in my family...their laughter and God's beauty! I was incredibly thankful and felt incredibly blessed!

 

 

 

We are purposefully trying to slow our lives down.  Because hurrying...it hurts.  It wastes.  I don't want to miss this time in life and be so busy that I miss my family...my kids...these moments.  I don't want to hurry so much that I forget to be thankful for the little things God gives in our lives...

 

 

 

like the abundance of strawberries growing out the dining room window...

 

One last thing! We are doing lots of reading this summer and I am committing as well....here is the one I am reading right now...I wanted a good book on the Holy Spirit and the very wise Doug Scott told me to never read a book unless it was recommended...well he recommended this one...

and I do as well ;)

 

 

I would love to hear some of your favorite recommended books!!!!

 

 





Here is our story.....

I was standing by my locker in the 8th grade, talking with a bunch of my girlfriends...dreading the bell that tells us to go to class.  There was laughter coming from down the hall and it was a group of guys walking together.  One in particular stood out.  Why hadn't I noticed him before? Where did he come from? I even had to ask some of my girl friends and they told me, "That's Brian Berenbrock....Amy (I won't use her last name) and him are kind of a thing."  Ahhh well.  He was so cute.  But Amy was my friend...no way.  Days went on and I saw more and more of Brian, this guy I really couldn't stop thinking about (at age 13...geesh!).  Summer came and Brian happened to be best friends with one of my best guy friends.  So naturally we saw more of each other.  Freshman year rolled around and I patiently waited for him.  Amy and him went to the freshman homecoming dance together and so I went solo, with a group of friends. It wasn't long after that dance that Amy was officially asked out by an older guy in High School so I waited....and waited....and waited....Finally one day after school I was putting my books away in my locker and Brian comes up behind me and although we've only had 2 conversations before this, he asked me to be his girlfriend.  And so it began....

We started that long but incredibly fun road of dating.  We weren't your average High School couple.  While everyone else went to parties on friday nights we made it a routine to order Pizza Hut Pizza and watch movies and yes...I'm going to say it...Funniest Home Videos (and we still do).  We grew in our faith together and although we failed miserably many times...we can see now that God handpicked us for each other.  I walked beside him as he tragically lost his older brother.  He walked beside me through a broken family and the hurt and chaos involved.  I am convinced any other high school guy would have walked away with the drama that always existed in my family...not Brian...he walked right beside me.  We walked through graduation together and making the decisions of what to do with our lives once done with school.  We walked the beach together and kissed in the sunset hours as he proposed to me...asking me to walk beside him for the rest of his life and if he can walk beside me for the rest of mine.  And so...I walked that isle with my dad...to my groom...to stand beside him for the rest of our lives...

God hand picked us for each other.  God protected our lives.  We weren't perfect in our dating relationship.  I thank God many times in my life that there is no one else competing in our marriage.  What I mean by that...is Brian and I? We are each others one and only.  There is no one else sharing any part of our intimate lives with us...I cannot describe how great of a blessing that is.  God handpicked us...because God knows I wouldn't have handled multiple women in the past well.  He handpicked Brian for me because he is a man who fears God.  He has made it a strong commitment to keep his mind from temptation. God knew I needed a man that walks away from Victoria Secret commercials and pays no attention to any woman seeking attention from any man other than her man. He strives to keep his eyes fixed on Jesus and keep his eyes only for me. God knew I needed a man who would be an active father.  A man who takes his role as "dad" 100% serious and doesn't look at me to do everything.  He values me as a stay-at-home mom and values our family more than anything on this earth.  

Today is our nine year anniversary and I cannot describe my heart right now.  My cup is overflowing and again I am so undeserving. I am an ordinary wife.  The more marriages I witness the more I realize that Brian...he is not an ordinary husband...he is far more.  

We have been together for 16 years...officially more than 1/2 our life.  We have not once gone through a "7 year itch" (although I would say transitioning to baby #3 was pretty darn close).  Here are a few of my "tricks" and thoughts to a happy marriage....

1.  If your marriage isn't Christ centered...it will fall apart.  Many will argue this point saying, "I know many unbelieving couples who are doing great".  My opinion on that is that they haven't experienced a Christ-centered marriage.  To me when your marriage is centered on Christ there are so many rich blessings...communication, understanding, a continuous refreshed love and desire for your spouse, understanding, respect, happiness that is indescribable...and so when you start to center your marriage on something else...it feels like it's falling apart and if your marriage got to the point where there is no Christ at all...it would feel like the end of it all.  It's not easy and it never will be to stay centered on Christ...you have to daily make that decision and work hard to maintain it because we are such a selfish people.  

2.  I'm old fashioned...I know that...but to me and for so many others...it works.  Nothing...NOTHING...comes before your husband (except God).  This is a hard one because we as women want to take care of our families and then ourselves and then our husband because, let's face it, he's a grown man and can take care of himself right? Always keep your goal on pleasing your husband.  And always put yourself in his shoes (this can go for working women and non-working women).  If your husband has been working all day...what does he want to come home to? What would you want to come home to? Does he want to come home to a wife who is stressed, nagging, angry and waiting for him to do everything? Or does he want to come home to a wife that drops everything the minute he walks in the door (who cares if your hair still isn't brushed, you forgot to brush your teeth and the house is a mess) and give him a big welcome home kiss.  I have made it my goal to have this house be a place that my husband can't wait to come home to...and he can't.  He says it almost daily, "I can't wait to get home to my family"...he aches when he is not here...

3.  Marriage is not about you.  If you can't get this right...it will fall apart.  To an unbeliever it makes no sense but to a believer it makes perfect sense.  Marriage is a picture of Christ's relationship to the Church...selfless...grace-filled, forgiving, unconditional love, laying your life down...selfless (did I already say that ;) ).  Marriage is designed to make you Holy..not happy...although if you're striving to make your marriage Christ centered...you will be happy.  

4. Make an effort to continually get to know each other.  We change as people, our dreams change and our character changes.  I am constantly getting to know Brian better and I love it.  It wasn't until our 8th year in marriage that I felt I was a part of a different life of Brians...the U.P.  I know it sounds petty but we talked last night about our favorite moment in our 9 years of marriage and it can't be the honeymoon or the babies born.  Mine was going to the U.P. for my first time ever with Brian.  It was a part of him that I wasn't a part of and I loved watching his eyes light up as he showed me all around.  Sunday night...the moon was so bright.  Our room was pitch black but the moon lit it just enough that I could see Brians face expression as he talked about his mans weekend away...the laughs they had, the conversations he had with our pastor about our pastors dad, the things he learned, the sights he saw and the sleeping adventures.  I learned that night how he conducts himself with all men.  I learned that night what getting away on a spiritual vacation meant to him.  Never think you know it all.

5.  Learn their love language.  No I am not telling you to read the book...but I am telling to learn how the feel loved.  

6.  Never stop dating.  I am not saying that you have to constantly go on dates (although I think it's very helpful)...but make an effort in your marriage to still "impress" your spouse.  Every year I do a 30 marriage challenge for myself and it includes things like getting fully ready for your husbands return from work that day.  Spend the day preparing the house and yourself.  Take him fishing (or whatever it is he likes to do) and do it with him.  While he mowing the lawn ask him to take his shirt off ;) (assure him your eyes are still desiring of him).  Write him letters of encouragement or verbally tell him he is doing a great job in his role because men, they do struggle with that.  They do not want to fail...assure them they are not.  

7.  This one is huge.  Find mentors.  Our pastor advised this of us when we were in pre-marital counseling and we took it to heart.  we put it off for so long and now we wouldn't trade it for a thing.  They are older and have gone through so much in their marriage and have so much wisdom from it and they share it.  They encourage us.  They advise us.  They help us.  Get mentors!

Maybe these things won't work forever...but for now this is what makes our marriage work and what makes us both happy ... to the point of not wanting to be away from each other ;).

To the man I do life with...

Thank you for sacrificing for our family

Thank you for choosing me and no one else

Thank you for fearing God and wanting to please Him

Thank you for being an active father and loving your kids from the start and diving in even after a days hard work

Thank you for holding me accountable in my faith and making me want to be a better woman of God

Thank you for wrapping your arms around me with each growing belling

Thank you still for, without hesitation, wrapping your arms around me after each growing belly and desiring me despite the remains of those growing bellies

Thank you for telling me I'm beautiful all of the time

Thank you for making the first thing you do when you walk through the door is to kiss me long and with love (not out of routine or obligation)

Thank you for the endless nights of wrestling with your boys

Thank you for the shoulder you always offer when I'm hurt or down

Thank you for loving me for the woman I am and am becoming and not for what I have to offer

Thank you for making me laugh and wanting to make me laugh

Thank you for teaching me 

I couldn't have picked a better man...that is why God did it.  I love you Brian Scott Berenbrock.  Happy 9 Years of doing life together! 

One of my favorite things about the summer is that I get to hang my clothes on the line.  On a windy day, I could just sit and watch the clothes dry by blowing ever so gently.  I look forward to this everyday and some days it gets me right out of bed.  This morning I slowly sat up in bed, stretched and slid on my slippers and robe.  Barely picking up my feet I walked to the washer and grabbed the wet clothes and walk to the deck (my husband has so kindly constructed a pulley system for a clothes line) and one by one begin beating them to get anything access off and then one by one begin hanging them to dry and straighten them out (can't that be used for a metaphor in itself for kids **wink wink***).  Underneath my feet a mamma robin has been caring for her baby since spring.   Right under the deck, right under where I stand to hang the laundry and this morning as I am hanging one of my husbands shirts that baby flew...took off and I was able to witness it.  

our strawberries coming to life.....

our blueberries coming to life...

Right now while homeschooling I am teaching the boys about planting a garden but also how to care for God's garden.  We have talked about preparing the soil and getting rid of bad dirt and weeds.  We have talked about fake seeds and bad seeds and well planted seeds and grounded seeds and relating this all to our Christian walk and growing the Kingdom of Heaven.  This made me begin thinking that one day I will witness each one of my own kids...my own babies fly and take off on their own.  There are days I get OVERWHELMED at the part I get to play in their lives.  The part that God has gifted me with.  I am not here on this earth for them and they are not here for me.  I am here for God and raising them is how I glorify Him.  

I begin to hang the little shorts that just yesterday were soaking wet with water from a family fishing night.  I think about the one I do life with...as I hang his socks, I quiet the voice inside me complaining that he never turns his socks right side out, and instead welcome the voice that says, "I get to do this".  Why? Because he lets me.  He values me.  My husband honors me.  He doesn't consider me lazy for getting out of bed at 7:30...he doesn't consider my job here with these four boys calm and easy.  He admits it's hard and loves me all the more because I get to be home.  The world does not think like this.  The world would call me unworthy, low, no good for nothing...

ahhhhh....but I am.  The clothes on the line were filled with dirt and stains and they have been washed clean, beaten and hanging to be wrinkle free, stain free.  I pull out more clothes to hang and there are a few more...still dirty.

"Our hands are so stained with sin that even our best works can leave traces of dirty prints."

There are rumors about me...there are people who don't like me...there is dirt covering my body and I am.so.unworthy.  

"But there is a Lamb who is white and there is a way to be white as snow and when we are our worst, His white hides our dirt best."

"In Him you are not your sin.  In Him, you are not your dirt. In Him you are hidden and your iniquity is made clean by your identity and your identity is in His purity - and when we are our worst, His white hides our dirt best."

The white shirts hang and blow, washed of their dirt.  The white pages of grace filled words stay open...slowly ridding me of my dirt.  I home school because I wanted a little bit of a slower paced life.  I want to be able to cherish the time with my kids growing up in this fast paced world.  I don't want to miss it.  We purposefully take the time to slow.our.lives.down...

and I learn to enjoy the small little moments in our life...

little feet trying to touch the sun swinging high...

Little feet racing fast to beat his brother...the man I do life with trailing behind remembering what it was like with his brothers...

Late night family fishing trips...while everyone else was getting their kids in bed...we were about to get more dirty on a long family bike ride to go fishing...

catching your first fish and running away from it because your were scared...aren't we all a little scared of the new?

 Being the smallest but being the first to catch a fish over your big brothers...again, the man I do life with sits back and remembers...

snuggles and closeness from this little man is definitely cherished....

taking the time to sit under blooming trees and take in the beauty, the smell and God's glory...

early morning snuggles with dad....

The man I do life with...reading their bedtime story...

I have yelled today...become impatient...I have been selfish and ungrateful...

Spurgeon says, "I don't know what I am more perfectly happy than when I am weeping for sin at the foot of the cross".  Happy? I don't know about jumping for joy but I know I'm in the right position...knees bent, head down...begging for mercy and for God to rid me of my dirt...making me white as snow...washed clean and waiting....