One of my favorite things about the summer is that I get to hang my clothes on the line. On a windy day, I could just sit and watch the clothes dry by blowing ever so gently. I look forward to this everyday and some days it gets me right out of bed. This morning I slowly sat up in bed, stretched and slid on my slippers and robe. Barely picking up my feet I walked to the washer and grabbed the wet clothes and walk to the deck (my husband has so kindly constructed a pulley system for a clothes line) and one by one begin beating them to get anything access off and then one by one begin hanging them to dry and straighten them out (can't that be used for a metaphor in itself for kids **wink wink***). Underneath my feet a mamma robin has been caring for her baby since spring. Right under the deck, right under where I stand to hang the laundry and this morning as I am hanging one of my husbands shirts that baby flew...took off and I was able to witness it.
our strawberries coming to life.....
our blueberries coming to life...
Right now while homeschooling I am teaching the boys about planting a garden but also how to care for God's garden. We have talked about preparing the soil and getting rid of bad dirt and weeds. We have talked about fake seeds and bad seeds and well planted seeds and grounded seeds and relating this all to our Christian walk and growing the Kingdom of Heaven. This made me begin thinking that one day I will witness each one of my own kids...my own babies fly and take off on their own. There are days I get OVERWHELMED at the part I get to play in their lives. The part that God has gifted me with. I am not here on this earth for them and they are not here for me. I am here for God and raising them is how I glorify Him.
I begin to hang the little shorts that just yesterday were soaking wet with water from a family fishing night. I think about the one I do life with...as I hang his socks, I quiet the voice inside me complaining that he never turns his socks right side out, and instead welcome the voice that says, "I get to do this". Why? Because he lets me. He values me. My husband honors me. He doesn't consider me lazy for getting out of bed at 7:30...he doesn't consider my job here with these four boys calm and easy. He admits it's hard and loves me all the more because I get to be home. The world does not think like this. The world would call me unworthy, low, no good for nothing...
ahhhhh....but I am. The clothes on the line were filled with dirt and stains and they have been washed clean, beaten and hanging to be wrinkle free, stain free. I pull out more clothes to hang and there are a few more...still dirty.
"Our hands are so stained with sin that even our best works can leave traces of dirty prints."
There are rumors about me...there are people who don't like me...there is dirt covering my body and I am.so.unworthy.
"But there is a Lamb who is white and there is a way to be white as snow and when we are our worst, His white hides our dirt best."
"In Him you are not your sin. In Him, you are not your dirt. In Him you are hidden and your iniquity is made clean by your identity and your identity is in His purity - and when we are our worst, His white hides our dirt best."
The white shirts hang and blow, washed of their dirt. The white pages of grace filled words stay open...slowly ridding me of my dirt. I home school because I wanted a little bit of a slower paced life. I want to be able to cherish the time with my kids growing up in this fast paced world. I don't want to miss it. We purposefully take the time to slow.our.lives.down...
and I learn to enjoy the small little moments in our life...
little feet trying to touch the sun swinging high...
Little feet racing fast to beat his brother...the man I do life with trailing behind remembering what it was like with his brothers...
Late night family fishing trips...while everyone else was getting their kids in bed...we were about to get more dirty on a long family bike ride to go fishing...
catching your first fish and running away from it because your were scared...aren't we all a little scared of the new?
Being the smallest but being the first to catch a fish over your big brothers...again, the man I do life with sits back and remembers...
snuggles and closeness from this little man is definitely cherished....
taking the time to sit under blooming trees and take in the beauty, the smell and God's glory...
early morning snuggles with dad....
The man I do life with...reading their bedtime story...
I have yelled today...become impatient...I have been selfish and ungrateful...
Spurgeon says, "I don't know what I am more perfectly happy than when I am weeping for sin at the foot of the cross". Happy? I don't know about jumping for joy but I know I'm in the right position...knees bent, head down...begging for mercy and for God to rid me of my dirt...making me white as snow...washed clean and waiting....
You know what I admire about you the most? It's your honesty with sharing with the world your flaws. So often I fail and feel so alone in that failure. On fb, I see way too many perfect lives and families. When I am truthful with myself I know they aren't perfect, but they sure look like a blissful, maybe even privileged life. That's why I limit my time with fb. But when I read about others flaws or failures I am reminded that I am not alone. That we all struggle and we all need God daily. Thank you for sharing your life with us!
ReplyDeleteLacey - thank you. This is one big reason I have decided to write focusing on my flaws. Not only does it keep me on my knees but I had someone once tell me that I am doing everything perfectly and where were they getting their observations from? Facebook. That day I made a commitment to write more about the bad days than the good ones :). God speed friend!
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