Simply Renovated

I feel like there is an indescribable "awe" when it comes to relationships with our fathers. Do you think God had a little intention in that? Everyone longs deep in their heart for a good relationship with their dad. Every girl longs for that protection of her "king" and every son longs for that relationship that gives the father's blessing...acceptance. Maybe not every single person but I'm sure if you search deep down in your heart...there is an aching. Yeah...I think God had some intention in that.

I honestly don't remember my relationship with my dad as a young child. Did you know there is such a thing as PTS for divorced children? I am pretty sure I have it. I don't remember much before my parents very nasty divorce...but I remember all too much after it. But I do remember having the longing and ache in my heart to have my dad view me as "his little princess". And I know my brother who is now 25 longed for that acceptance from our father...that blessing. It was just truth.

I hear it all too often from my childhood and now as well... "My husband comes home and just wants to relax" .... "He comes home and does what he wants to do and just expects me to do everything"..."He just wants me to not be tired when we go to bed...but I'm exhausted"..."I feel like I'm pregnant alone"....

Hearing these things has brought to my attention two things. The first thing is that I am incredibly blessed to have the husband I do. He is a rare gem. The second thing is this...there is a crisis in our society with dads.

When you become a Christian you are making a choice to die to yourself. But for some reason I feel like that piece of truth gets lost in all of the verses about the man being head of the household...dominant ... the KING! So here is my two cents on what I think we need in dads today...

We don't need a boss....we need a friendship. We need you to make us a priority...we need you to value reading to your kids, teaching them everything you know, riding bikes with them and wrestling until you can't wrestle anymore....

We need to know we are not in this alone...when we throwing up all night we need to know that you would rather take it away from us if you could...we need you to try and understand what being home with our kids all day is like...that we never leave our "work" even if we as moms leave the house to "work"...

We need you to be the man of the house. we need you to lead us because yes as moms we try very hard to train our child in the way they should go but God gave us this instruction and there is value in it...that the man should spiritually lead his family...

We don't want you to muster up your best piece of advice...we want you to pray with us.

We want you to desire the thickening stomach from growing little miracles inside...

We don't want you to look like the world...

We want your patience (I just learned this one)... patience isn't settling your frustration or anger...patience is long-suffering. We want you to be in this with us....not apart from us. We want you to go to the zoo with us or the farmers market or the store...

we want a family...with a very present Dad.

We want you to model our Father in Heaven...because our Father in Heaven see us as His children and he loves us and to love is to suffer...and he will suffer for us and he will suffer with us...and he carries us until we suffer no more...

This man I do life with....he is an incredible dad. He doesn't go fishing by himself...he takes his kids with them. He doesn't come home and expect me to do dinner and clean while he cleans the garage out...he takes the kids and teaches them how to clean the garage (power washing is fun). He walks in the door and the first thing he does is kiss his bride (and yes he still calls me that to this day). HE rolls up his sleeves and he suffers long until each last child is sleeping. He tucks them in at night and reads. He instructs them, he prays with them and teaches them how to pray. He disciplines them in love and suffers with them while he disciplines. He never complains if the laundry isn't put away and he can't find a work shirt in the early hours. He loves and he really truly does love people. A man like him is rare. They are there and I am thankful I see them more and more...but to me this is a true man. Not someone who can make it up test hill, or drink 7 beers in one hour and hold his own, who can pick up a girl at the drop of a hat or who can catch the biggest fish or survive in the wilderness...

all photos taken by Amy Oonk at Everyday Joy Photography

you can find her links at the bottom of this post

To my boys....I pray that you continue to look to your Heavenly Father for your guidance in life...and I am thankful that your dad here...does the same thing. I could consider this one of the BIGGEST blessings in my life...a Godly man to father our boys...