I made these two lists last night. Late last night as I soaked my hip (because I'm 30) in a hot bath after a long run. Here is that list....
sexual immorality
Debauchery Idolatry witchcraft hatred
discord jealousy fits of rage
selfish ambition dissension
factions envy drunkenness jealousy
And I had certain ones circled....
And then there is this terrifying passage that goes along with it....
"So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature. For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under law. The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God."
Galations 5:19-21
Talk about a passage that will just put your gut to your feet and bring you low to your knees and lay prostrate in awe that this God whose art canvas is the size of the Universe...loves me.
Then there's that other list....
That list where...well nothing is circled. And another terrifying passage afterwards,
"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control."
Galations 5:22
This is what will inherit the kingdom of God. A person who lives like this. I spent more time on this list writing it down. Looking at every word and observing them closely. I compare the two lists.
Idolatry is boxed. I don't have a physical statue that I worship. But i worship things in the small, maybe the unnoticed. Things like caring what people think about me. Things like mending relationships that honestly weren't really relationships in the first place. Time! My identity!
Jealousy was boxed. The evil game of comparison. Compare, compare and compare and you have jealousy!
Fits of rage. Last night at our Home Fellowship Group (HFG) we were asked to humble ourselves and vocalize something we struggle with...a sin. I said this. No one suspected it. But yes. My kids wear me thin some days and my patience is stripped and I can grow a temper that scares even me sometimes.
Selfish Ambition, yes do we all? I wake up and it's not the first thing I want to do, serve my husband and kids. I want to grab my cup of coffee and sit down and just have it be me.
Here's a long one for you....
"Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry. Because of these the wrath of God is coming. You used to walk in these ways, in the life you once lived. But now you must rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips. Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator. Here this is no Greek or Jew, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave or free, but Christ is all, and is in all. Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity."
Colossians 3:5-14
My questions came flooding to my head. Have I rid myself of these? Do I recognize my low state and my HUGE need for a Savior? Are there barriers in the relationships I cultivate? Am I building walls or bridges? Do I imitate Christs compassion? Do I forgive as Christ forgave? Do I allow love (not the feeling but the action and yes I believe there is a difference) to rule my life...my heart? Do I live in humility or am I like the arrogant Pharisees, proud and boastful?
I mean talk about an uplifting bath time right? But yes! It is uplifting because although my flesh naturally desires the sinful nature and things on that list...my heart desires, aches and yearns for the list of the Spirit. It's easier to live in the first list. It is...it's hard work to live the fruits of the Spirit...IF we are on our own. But the Spirit has names that assure us we are not on our own...
Counselor, Comforter, Spirit of Wisdom, Knowledge and Understanding. The difference for me in these lists is that I HATE the first list. I want nothing to do with it and although I struggle with some things on that list...I desire to be on the latter list.
Romans 8:5 says that "those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires". Then, in verse 9 it says, "You, however, are controlled not by the sinful nature but by the Spirit, if the Spirit of God lives in you. And if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, he does not belong to Christ".
If I didn't have the Holy Spirit, I can't imagine what my life would look like. The list of the sinful nature would consume me. Praise the Lord He didn't leave me on my own. Praise the Lord I am controlled by a Great Guide, the Holy Spirit. My prayer today is to continually ask Jesus, continually ask the Holy Spirit to "create in my a pure heart and renew a steadfast spirit within me". To chizzle away my heart of ice and cold and warm it with Christs love. Because what are these thing without love? What is patience, compassion, kindness, gentleness and humility without love?
"Love IS patient, love IS kind. It does NOT envy, it does NOT boast, it is NOT proud. It is NOT rude, it is NOT self-seeking, it is NOT easily angered, it keeps NO record of wrongs. Love does NOT delight in evil but REJOICES with the TRUTH. It ALWAYS protects, ALWAYS trusts, ALWAYS hopes, ALWAYS perseveres. LOVE NEVER FAILS.....And now these three things remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."
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