Chasing Proverbs 31

Why is it as women of faith we chase after the being of the Proverbs 31 woman? Do you know her? If you don't and you read Proverbs 31 for the first time you will probably and honestly be disgusted.  I sure was.  I read her story and thought, "was she a robot?", "did she have young children when this was written?", did her husband do a ton of work to make her workload easier?".  Her character, modeled for us in the living Word of God seems, unattainable...impossible.

Oh! How the father of lies traps us so easily! That is exactly what he wants us to think when we read things like that in the Bible.  Not only does he want us to think those things, he wants us to believe them and make that a part of who we are.  I honestly and boldly admit, I fell for his shallow lies.

This week especially has been an eye opening week for myself but these believing of these lies have started a long time ago.  I break down in tears and lock myself in the bathroom because of the overwhelming sense of failure that lurks over my head, that is weighing down my shoulders.  I can't get every room in my house cleaned, I can't keep my bathroom free from my crazy hair that falls out daily.  I can't keep up with the spills, the changing of the diapers, the spills, the laundry, the spills, the putting away of toys and cleaning up of the pee that is always there (no toilet would ever be big enough for my boys to make it directly into). What about the fights? The constant fighting and trying to figure out who had what toy first and whose turn it is for this and trying to be the middle ground in a situation you aren't even a part of. This isn't me. Right? This cannot be what God created me to do...I'm horrible at it.  These kids are amazing in so many ways and they are a true gift from God but really? Me as their mom? That is ridiculous.  I have formed this attitude that this isn't what I am supposed to do.  Because I am such a failure at being a wife and a mother, I have formed this attitude that it must not be what God really intended for me to do.  There must be a different "gift" that I am supposed to pursue.  Yeah...right where the father of lies wants me.

"If I can do enough of the right things, I will have established my value.  Identity is the sum of my achievements.  Hence, if I can satisfy the boss, meet the needs of my spouse and children, and still pursue my dreams, then I will be somebody.  In Christian theology such a position is called justification by works.  It assumes that my worth is measured by performance.  Conversely, it conceals a dark and ghastly fear: if I do not perform, I will be judged unworthy".

The quote above is right where I am.  "If I do not perform, I will be judged unworthy".  So because of my lack of ability to be able to perform to my incredibly ridiculous standards, I retreat and complain and QUESTION God's perfect plan for my life.  Even the thought that I must not be "gifted" in motherhood is a slap in God's face.  

"Deep down, I know I should be perfect and I'm not.  I feel it when someone comes into my home unannounced and there's a mess in every corner.  I know it when my children misbehave in public and I just want to hide.  I can tell it when that empty feeling rises after I've spoken in haste, said too much or raised my voice.  There's the feeling in my stomach that I just can't shake when I know I've missed the mark of perfection.  The Gospel of grace announces that Jesus came to acquit the guilty.  He comes to judge and to be judged in our place.  Christ came to satisfy the deep accusation against us once and for all so that we can be free from the judgement of God, others and ourselves.  He came to relieve us of our endlessly exhausting efforts at trying to deal with judgement on our own.  The Gospel declares that our guilt has been atoned for, the Law has been fulfilled.  So we don't need to live under the burden of trying to appease the judgement we feel, in Christ the ultimate demand has been met, the deepest judgement has been satisfied.  The internal voice that says, "do this and live" gets drowned out by the external voice that says, "It is finished".

When Jesus sat at the right hand of the Father, after he defeated death, his words were, "it is finished".  Why is it so hard for me to rest in that? 

So what about this famous Proverbs 31 woman? I am no theologian but in my opinion God did not have her description written in His word for us to feel like a failure.  It was not intended for us to "live up" to her character and standards.  If you put yourself in her character and if you read intently the words about this beautiful woman, what I've learned to see is her heart.  The Proverbs 31 woman lives perfectly Colossians 3:23 which says, "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters".  I have learned to see that a beautiful woman is one who find her identity in Christ and serves Him in all she does.  I am not failing if I don't have my house cleaned, dinner on the table at 5, baths done every other night or even if I have misbehaving children.  The question in it all is where is my heart? God has blessed me with these four incredible disciples.  Yes...they are my disciples and I am their teacher.  What an incredible honor and job! What an incredible gift! Will I serve Him by serving them? 

Here is an incredible Gospel filled song...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aF-5aO2GYiY

Happy Friday all!