It's that time of year again.  Time for another Marriage Challenge and I know I am way overdue for one.  In my life especially I feel like God is preparing me a little for this by letting those old bad habits creep in and allowing me to see them.  I tell you what ladies, I have a lot to learn.  

This is going to be a great time of the year to do this!  We will go right through Thanksgiving which is a great time to reflect and give Thanks for what God has blessed you with.

Marriage is a tough thing right? If you can't agree with me on that then I believe you don't have the right perspective on how God designed marriage.  I believe there are some important things we all need to see and remind ourselves about God's intentions for Marriage.  One thing I know will help me with this challenge is to remember that Eve came from dust and man.  God didn't just see dust and see the man He created from it and thought, "ah well I better make a girl".  He is intentional and purposeful.  There is scripture to back up that we are to be underneath our husbands wing...under his arm...where we came from...his ribs.  In our society of selfishness, pride, role reversal and so much more it's important that no matter your schedule or position in life, you remember God chose your husband to lead and you are to snuggle in right under that arm and let him. 

"So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up it's place with flesh. And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man He made into a woman and brought her to the man.  The man said, 'This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called woman because she was taken out of Man.'  Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh."

~Genesis 2:21-25~

God never said marriage would be easy.  But He did guarantee security when a marriage is centered on Christ.  Pastor Ken at our church just preached on marriage and how he views it as a spiritual incubator.  I couldn't agree more.  I grow more in my faith through my marriage and my parenting.  How do you center a marriage on Christ? Well I believe it starts with prayer.  BELIEVE me I am the last person to preach on prayer because in all honesty I suck at it.  I have four kids under the age of 7 so quiet time is rare in this house...I can't hear myself think let alone hear myself pray.  But I am going to make it my goal this month to open myself completely and humbly to Christ.  Because I want to see big things happen in our marriage.  I want to really encourage you to commit to praying for your marriage daily.  Did you catch that? NOT FOR YOUR HUSBAND.  I'm not saying praying for husband is bad...we will do that in our challenge but I want you to put your focus on your marriage.  Why? Because God is going to change you first.  God is going to show you where he needs you before He will change your husband.  It's a humbling experience when God asks you to change something in yourself that then makes that other something in your husband seem pity and small.  

On top of the many challenges you are going to face this month (some small, some big, some hard and some easy), this is where I want you to start.  We have to get out of any mindset that marriage is meant to make us happy.  That is not what it was designed for and if our thinking it that then we will constantly be disappointed.  We have to get out of any mindset that is selfish and prideful.  This month is a month to SERVE your husband fully.  I am not degrading women here or putting all women in a box that says you need to stay home with your kids, put your apron on, bake, clean, take out the trash or do every bit of laundry every day...that is legalistic.  But Jesus came to serve...not to be served and we are to model his example and what better place to start than with our husbands? 

I am so excited to do this challenge with you girls! I am excited to hear some testimonies of how God is working through your marriage.  I want to see God glorified and honored through this challenge and will continue to pray that He is! 

I don't know all of you but I will be praying for you and your marriages!

Some of the resources I will be using are these:

The Love Dare by Kendrick

The One Year Book of Devotions for Couples by Ferguson

The Five Love Languages by Chapman

The Power of a Praying Wife by Omartian

Love and Respect by Eggerichs

www.unveiledwife.com

www.livinglifeathome.com

Just a heads up too.  We will be doing some challenges that might need some planning.  Date nights will include one while kids are in bed, one out and about and one at home date night without kids.  There will be letter writing and conversation tips and even a "get to know you game" of some sort. 

MIGHT BE THE BIGGEST CHALLENGE OF ALL...DON'T TELL YOUR HUSBAND YOU ARE DOING THIS.   There will be a time and a place to do so but try your hardest not to let you husband know you are participating in this challenge!

Week 7...complete!

It's getting better...not where I'd like to be...but better.

We are finishing up week 7 (I think :0) and the fact that I have seen the "first fruits" of this homeschool adventure is pretty breath taking.  Here is the story of my son showing the true goodness of his heart, making me cry joyful tears in the middle of McDonalds.

I would like to make a public confession.  I'm slow.  Someone will tell me a joke and it will take me a while to get it or it will take me repeating it to understand it...yup...a little slow.  So in the last post about homeschooling I mentioned that I just need to remember to keep God at the center of it all. That they can still learn even if we are not sitting at the table doing workbooks and activities.  I will also admit that...I am still not out of the workbook stage...still trying to stay fairly structured.  

I was encouraged this week through a fellow blogger and God opened my eyes to another "duh" moment.  So what if we didn't do what the 2nd grade book says to do. I read the bible today with my son and we talked about the Character of Samuel.  We talked about Israel's first King and why God said it wasn't a good idea.  This blogger is an incredible inspiration at how she is bringing education into her bible stories with her daughter.  Here is the link to her blog and ideas on educating her daughter.  

So....this...I feel scattered in this post but this is the important thing.  This week we talked about leaves. William studied online facts about leaves and had to present them to all of us last night at the dinner table.  We discussed different sizes of leaves and colors and why they change colors.  We talked about Hannah's prayer, Eli and Samuel and King Saul.  We memorized awana verses and sang Christmas Program songs.  William did a word cloud by studying chipmunks online.  We all made pies together and celebrated Zaks birthday and learned measurements by baking together.  My husband comes home and is relaxed, because we have no pressing schedule.  We are both learning to say "no" together.  If we feel the kids aren't going to handle Awana tonight we are going to miss it and we are going to be ok with it.  Last night I watch my husband and son cuddle in a chair and just read together.  I listened as Brian tucked them in to bed and said prayers and is slowly "de-stressing" on bed time routines.  These moments, that is why we are homeschooling.  WE would miss these moments if our kids were in school right now.  

So week 7 (geesh i think) is done!  I have a few projects to complete this weekend and then I'll post pictures of them and how we will incorporate sight words and numbers and letters in our learning :) but for now here are some pictures of our "school".

TGIF!!!!!!

...fruit...what an incredible blessing

Tomorrow I will try and update all of my followers (not that I have a huge group ;) on the home school front.

But today I wanted to share this.

Life on the home school front has been anything but easy.  Quite difficult actually.  A lot harder than I thought and honestly, I was seeing hardly any good coming from it.  The days seemed longer and more stressful and Brian has come home to me more than once in a breakdown from the pressure of it all.  The pressures of being a mom, a teacher, a wife and a daughter of the King of the Universe.  Oh! The pressure of that...of course that I bring on myself.  God's standards are not impossible but WE make them that way.

Now before I go too crazy is this post and share all of my emotions I wanted to share that today I saw the first fruits of keeping my kids home with me.  

Some may greatly disagree but I believe that it's important for my kids to see how I handle stress.  It is important for me to lift my hands to the One who knows my every thought and give it to Him. 

Today I was able to meet with my sisters.  Beautiful sisters in Christ in good fellowship is a sweet sweet thing.  I walked away from it refreshed and encouraged.  Yesterday was Zaks birthday and he got some gift cards to McDonalds.  So we decided to have lunch together after a quick visit with Dad.  William offered to pray and these were his words,

"Dear God, thank you for this day.  Thank you that mom is here and taking us out to lunch.  Thank so much that mom could go over to Nora's Mom's house and study the bible and learn about you. I love you. Amen."

Need I say more? 

Happy Birthday #2

Today is Zak's birthday! One of my biggest accomplishments...i say that with a giant smile because 6 years ago today this 9lb 6oz boy came into our lives.  He was complete with a giant scowl and fat rolls everywhere.  I am not kidding when I say that...he had dimples where his knuckles were supposed to be...rolls where there should have been wrists and ankles!  

I remember him running around the house when he was just two.  He was chasing Will and after two laps he came to me, put his hands on my lap and took some deep breaths.  He was not unhealthy...he just had a lot of weight to carry around!  I remember Brian walking in the house after work and we both just laughed at Zak because he came around the corner with boogers hanging out of his nose, a dirty white shirt from playing outside, a full diaper and he burped...that pretty much summed him up as a baby!

This little man has a special place in my heart.  He grew up to have the most tender heart and full of so much love.  He never really needed spankings or hard discipline.  Maybe that place in my heart is because of him loving and needing me so much!  He is definitely a "momma's boy", but I wouldn't have it any other way.

I am so thankful to God for my relationship with Zak.  When he was five months old we found out we were pregnant with Matthew...that was always hard me because I felt like we lost his childhood a little.  We don't remember as much from his childhood or being a baby...we cheated him a little.  However God has brought Zak and I together with an understanding relationship.  We are the closest...

Today Zak turns 6....where did that go? He is tall, handsome and so funny!  He loves ninja turtles, his bible, telling jokes and dressing up as Uncle Si from Duck Dynasty!  He loves it when I tuck him at night and he loves it when I sing to him.  He loves me reading the book "I love you forever".  The first year of his life he scowled when I put the camera in his face and every now and then he'll still give me a shy look but 90% of the time he is all smiles and laughs!

He loves collecting little stuffed animals, he loves speaking in a different language (one he's made up himself), he could live off sausage and he loves basketball!  

I love you Zak! You have been a wonderful blessing in our lives and we couldn't imagine life without you! Happy Birthday Zak-attack!

We love you!

15 years...and counting

Fifteen years ago today there was this tall handsome man with amazing blue/green eyes and dark brown hair.  He had the most contagious smile.  I remember staying after school a bit and running into him.  He had "heard" that I liked him and he expressed his interest in me :).  He put his arm around my shoulders while walking down the hall and asked me to be his girlfriend.  Ha! He was an amateur and totally nervous but none the less he asked and I said "yes" !

Yes we were fourteen and I know that that is technically not dating because we had to have our parents drive us to the movies but he was my boyfriend and I was on cloud nine with him.  I can honestly say that I would never have thought that he would be my husband 7 years later.  He stuck with me through thick and thin and to be honest there was a lot of thick in our high school years. 

He came from a family with three brothers and parents who stayed married, had family dinners nightly and did family vacations.  He met me who came from a huge family, divorced parents and lots of drama and fighting...he stuck with me.  He lost his brother in a terrible accident our junior year and high school and I was able to be with him through that.  

I truly believe that we were "ahead of the game" even when we were dating.  We weren't like most couples in our grade.  Every friday night we ordered pizza, rented a movie and had to watch AFV (America's funniest home videos) while eating pizza.  Yes we enjoyed some football games and the main dances but never went to parties or did what typical couples were doing on friday nights.  I feel we matured together through my family drama and the loss of his brother.  He definitely made a choice to stay with me because I believe any other man would have ran ;) . 

He chose to marry me and make me his wife.  Never would I have thought that the little boy who put his arm around me and asked me to be his girlfriend our freshman year in high school would turn out to be the man of my forever dreams...my husband...the father of my children...my best friend!

Happy 15 years honey! I love you!

Chasing Proverbs 31

Why is it as women of faith we chase after the being of the Proverbs 31 woman? Do you know her? If you don't and you read Proverbs 31 for the first time you will probably and honestly be disgusted.  I sure was.  I read her story and thought, "was she a robot?", "did she have young children when this was written?", did her husband do a ton of work to make her workload easier?".  Her character, modeled for us in the living Word of God seems, unattainable...impossible.

Oh! How the father of lies traps us so easily! That is exactly what he wants us to think when we read things like that in the Bible.  Not only does he want us to think those things, he wants us to believe them and make that a part of who we are.  I honestly and boldly admit, I fell for his shallow lies.

This week especially has been an eye opening week for myself but these believing of these lies have started a long time ago.  I break down in tears and lock myself in the bathroom because of the overwhelming sense of failure that lurks over my head, that is weighing down my shoulders.  I can't get every room in my house cleaned, I can't keep my bathroom free from my crazy hair that falls out daily.  I can't keep up with the spills, the changing of the diapers, the spills, the laundry, the spills, the putting away of toys and cleaning up of the pee that is always there (no toilet would ever be big enough for my boys to make it directly into). What about the fights? The constant fighting and trying to figure out who had what toy first and whose turn it is for this and trying to be the middle ground in a situation you aren't even a part of. This isn't me. Right? This cannot be what God created me to do...I'm horrible at it.  These kids are amazing in so many ways and they are a true gift from God but really? Me as their mom? That is ridiculous.  I have formed this attitude that this isn't what I am supposed to do.  Because I am such a failure at being a wife and a mother, I have formed this attitude that it must not be what God really intended for me to do.  There must be a different "gift" that I am supposed to pursue.  Yeah...right where the father of lies wants me.

"If I can do enough of the right things, I will have established my value.  Identity is the sum of my achievements.  Hence, if I can satisfy the boss, meet the needs of my spouse and children, and still pursue my dreams, then I will be somebody.  In Christian theology such a position is called justification by works.  It assumes that my worth is measured by performance.  Conversely, it conceals a dark and ghastly fear: if I do not perform, I will be judged unworthy".

The quote above is right where I am.  "If I do not perform, I will be judged unworthy".  So because of my lack of ability to be able to perform to my incredibly ridiculous standards, I retreat and complain and QUESTION God's perfect plan for my life.  Even the thought that I must not be "gifted" in motherhood is a slap in God's face.  

"Deep down, I know I should be perfect and I'm not.  I feel it when someone comes into my home unannounced and there's a mess in every corner.  I know it when my children misbehave in public and I just want to hide.  I can tell it when that empty feeling rises after I've spoken in haste, said too much or raised my voice.  There's the feeling in my stomach that I just can't shake when I know I've missed the mark of perfection.  The Gospel of grace announces that Jesus came to acquit the guilty.  He comes to judge and to be judged in our place.  Christ came to satisfy the deep accusation against us once and for all so that we can be free from the judgement of God, others and ourselves.  He came to relieve us of our endlessly exhausting efforts at trying to deal with judgement on our own.  The Gospel declares that our guilt has been atoned for, the Law has been fulfilled.  So we don't need to live under the burden of trying to appease the judgement we feel, in Christ the ultimate demand has been met, the deepest judgement has been satisfied.  The internal voice that says, "do this and live" gets drowned out by the external voice that says, "It is finished".

When Jesus sat at the right hand of the Father, after he defeated death, his words were, "it is finished".  Why is it so hard for me to rest in that? 

So what about this famous Proverbs 31 woman? I am no theologian but in my opinion God did not have her description written in His word for us to feel like a failure.  It was not intended for us to "live up" to her character and standards.  If you put yourself in her character and if you read intently the words about this beautiful woman, what I've learned to see is her heart.  The Proverbs 31 woman lives perfectly Colossians 3:23 which says, "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters".  I have learned to see that a beautiful woman is one who find her identity in Christ and serves Him in all she does.  I am not failing if I don't have my house cleaned, dinner on the table at 5, baths done every other night or even if I have misbehaving children.  The question in it all is where is my heart? God has blessed me with these four incredible disciples.  Yes...they are my disciples and I am their teacher.  What an incredible honor and job! What an incredible gift! Will I serve Him by serving them? 

Here is an incredible Gospel filled song...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aF-5aO2GYiY

Happy Friday all!

          Here we are...week 5!  What a crazy journey we've begun and only in 5 weeks!  If anyone of you has asked over the past five weeks how homeschooling has been going you can probably write a better blog than I.  The typical response...not good.  We are learning together and trying together to get this thing down.  I am exhausted because we can't seem to get a schedule down that works for all of us yet so that means staying up super late to edit or tend to the house because during the day...I cannot seem to find the time.

         The first few weeks I was incredibly downcast because we weren't finishing all of the lesson plans.  I was feeling incredibly overwhelmed at the thought that for this short time that we've decided to homeschool I was going to fail them miserably. William doesn't want to read Charlotte's Web and he definitely doesn't want to write about it or Noah's Ark or the weather.  He doesn't even want to journal with me when all I write to him are praises (he loves that).  They don't want to get to work first thing in the morning and they don't want to do it late at night.  They want food and breaks and to go places.

        There have been lots of tears shed.  I emailed a friend...a true gift from God she is...and told her that I wanted to curl up in a ball, cry and enroll them in school the next day.  She gave me words of wisdom.  I need to figure out how to bring God in all of it.  One friend told me...if your child doesn't learn this specific thing this year it's BECAUSE GOD WANTED THAT FOR HIM.  If you are having a bad day or your kids are having a bad day it's BECAUSE IT'S PART OF GOD'S PLAN FOR YOU.  Wow! How immature I am in my thinking.  If I center my day around God will it not be blessed? I need to get to the point where I surrender all.  Where during my day my hands are lifted to the One True God whether that day is all smiles or all tears.  I need to get to the point where I can say "thanks" for everything.  Where I can open my hands in surrender to give praise to our King...all day...with my kids.

          So far this week has been the best. We are starting each morning with a devotional.  Devotionals gospel centered and easy are the best for my family.  It gives me the opportunity to explain the simplest things about the God we put our faith in.  This morning I got to explain why Jesus was considered perfect.  I was able to explain that he was without sin and how impossible that is for us.  We all talked about the sins we have already committed today and now I am able to explain to them how we seek forgiveness for those sins.  I have decided to relax! Now don't go thinking I'm getting lazy...whoever thinks homeschooling is for the lazy "why I oughta"....anyways...I have decided to chill out on "school".  That friend who gave me the words of wisdom? She said something that stuck with me, "we have to get school as we know it out of our heads...don't even use the words school".  She is right! We are teaching our kids and it's my job to make learning fun.  I read this article on what specifically 4 year old's should know.  A preschool teacher wrote it because she was saddened at a parent/teacher conference that there were all of these standards for a 4 year old.  She went on to say that a four year old should know he is loved, should know that it is always ok for a cat to be pink and have 6 legs.  There were statistics presented that kids that did best of their ACT's were kids that were frequently read to.  Yup! So this is my philosophy.  Letting my kids develop their own learning desires...for my kids to know they are loved by us and by an incredible God.  To allow my kids to be.who.they.are! And to read...lots of reading and lots of family reading!

        Here is the start to our new week :)

 William working hard :)

 Zakary measuring a pumpkin with legos

 This is what we begin with every morning...

 Matthew counting candy corn

 William measuring how many TBSP's of candy corn are in 1 cup and 1/2 cup

well....i...don't...know :)

Have a wonderful week!!!!!!