It's quiet here this morning. There is excitement in our stirring hearts as we wake this Christmas Eve. They boys they move the snowflake over once again on our Advent calendar counting down the days to celebrate Jesus' birth.
We lit the candles last night after a long day of preparing.
There were expectations set and expectations not met. There were hurtful words and a pile full of regret. There were apologies. But this mama heart doesn't forgive herself so easily. There were many tears...mostly mine streaming as I chose the easy way out and gave up all joy and defaulted to anger, impatience and unrest.
I grew fearful. Why do I feel like such an awful mother? When four little crazy boys seem as if they lack all respect for this mama, when they don't listen and don't do. When they use their own hurtful words towards each other and they choose not to love.
I cannot expect my kids to live like Jesus if I choose not to display how to live like Jesus to them.
So we open our devotional and my grieving heart reads the words...the very breath of God.
"Joseph DO NOT BE AFRAID to take Mary as your wife. For the child within her conceived by the Holy Spirit. And she will have a son, and you are to name him Jesus, for he will save his people from his sins."
Jesus, which means the Lord saves.
Jesus doesn't come to save those who are rich. Jesus doesn't come to save those who will do enough work for him or best work for him. Jesus doesn't come to save those who are healthy and can run 10 miles. Jesus doesn't come to save those prestigious ones who come from a noble and rich family line. Jesus comes to save all. The broken, the hurting, the poor, the low and the least of these. He came to save both Jews and Gentile. Me....you.
So we talk. Our names all have a meaning and they all come from somewhere.
The angel Gabriel appeared to Zechariah and Mary and his names means, "Strength of God". Zechariah who doubted means, "God remembers". Elizabeth means "oath of God" while Mary means "wished for child". John means, "Jehovah has been gracious", Joseph means, "May Jehovah add" and Jesus means, "The Lord saves".
William. We named him William after my dad, Mark William Manson. Williams means, "God's warrior or Protector". Zakary Brian is named after his dad. Zakary means, "remembered by God". Matthew Kurt. He was named after Brian's dad. Matthew means, "gift of Yahweh" and I need that reminder daily. Benjamen Aaron was named after me, Stacie Erin. Benjamen means, "son of the right hand". Brian named after his father and his older brother, means "noble" and Stacie...named after no one...no significance...means "resurrection"!
That is the rest of our Christmas story. Some celebrate Christmas and just enjoy the traditions...the family...some enjoy the shopping and spending of money and some absolutely hate this time of year. My Christmas Story celebrates Jesus. Not just his birth but his resurrection. Because lets face it...the birth of Jesus is pointless without the death and resurrection of Jesus. Because Hope came down and he lived and walked this earth and breathed this air. He was killed and buried. BUT HE ROSE AGAIN and appeared to over 500 people. Yes I celebrate the birth of Jesus...but I also celebrate the hope He brings. That this life isn't it. I fail and I make mistakes and I have regrets. I am weak and a sinner...but Hope came down and rescued me.
And all these gifts...our kids...have names that reflect the One who created them. And we didn't plan it but God did. He knew their names before we thought them and each.name.reflects Him. Reminding me of just how great a gift they really are. Reminding me that God gave them to us and He knows when He will take them back. So my grieving heart last night turned joyful...
I am storing their name meanings in my heart today. To remember that my kid gifts are so divine and full or purpose and entrusted to us.
"God comes....God comes quiet...This night a battle has been waged and won for you. Love had to come back for you. Love had to get to you. The Love that has been coming for you since the beginning - He slays dragons for you. This is the truest love story of history, and it's His-story, and it's for you....Rejected at the inn, holy God comes in small to where you feel rejected and small. God is with you now. Where you are - in a soundless cry or hidden brokenness or in your ache - God always wants to be with you. We are never left alone in this; God is with us."
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