Is it Worth it?

       Yesterday was Church.  I just honestly love the Church I attend.  I love the people, I love my friends and I love hearing the Pastors...truly God fearing, Christ loving Pastors preach the Word of God.  I love getting my four little men dressed up in their Sunday best and watching them file in behind me and sit quietly in the seats as we worship as a community of believers.  I love knowing they are learning how to worship and love knowing they are having seeds planted as they listen quietly to the sermon being preached.
Did I fool you? :)

        Yesterday during worship I had one kid slouching in his chair pushing on the seat in front of him, the other one crawling underneath the chairs and another one jumping on the chairs.  They were being kind of quiet but totally distracting.  There was the crinkling of the skittles bag that they got from Grandpa and Grandma, the giggling and weird noises they make.  I spend my time picking the baby up, setting him back down, picking him up, being a ref between two of them, sitting down myself to try and contain them a little.  Then half way through #3 sneezes and a huge glob of mucus hangs from his nose to the bottom of his chin and OF COURSE I don't have kleenex.  The man behind me (I won't mention his name publicly) was laughing hysterically and totally distracted.  Being a mom of four young boys is not easy.  I homeschool and am a photographer as well.  My life is crazy busy and crazy distracting itself.  My alone time with God has diminished to almost nothing except what I get on Sunday's.  I walk out of church either during worship, during the sermon or very rarely after the sermon and the first question in my head is, "Is this worth it?"...should I just stay home and do church with them over the podcast that our church offers? "How does that mom over there have her kids sitting so perfectly and without making noise?", "Is there something wrong with my kids?".  I often cry on Sundays because I am so imperfect with raising my kids and I get so frustrated that I can't just sit and worship in silence or without distraction.

         It is worth it! I am raising a generation of men and this is real life.  As I sit while singing, wrestling with snacks, blankies and sippy cups, coloring crayons and books...it is worth it! They are sitting and learning what it means to be with a body of believers.  They can sit there and watch (maybe not for long) someone else raise their hands to the Lord.  It matters because as I look around the church and see an entire generation of kids missing (that young 20's group) it gives me hope that this generation of young men in my life might still be there in 10 + years.  I will never forget that Sunday when I was standing in worship singing Behold our God by Sovereign Grace.  My husband was holding our third son on his hip when all of the sudden he mumbled out some praises and lifted his hands to our God!  It is worth it! If ever I am in doubt of that question I pray that I come back to the Cross and my purpose here.  Because as insignificant as it might sound to others...NO ONE else can do this job...this honor...this responsibility better than I.  God has given it to me...not to the woman with her kids perfectly sitting and listening, not to the other mom who thinks she might be able to do it better..He has given this to me.  And for you? No one else can do it better than you! Moms it is worth it!