If you're a woman reading this right now, I can bet money on it that you are not as confident as you let the world see. I can bet that you struggle with your self value, your worth. I can bet that you compare yourself and think to yourself that you are not beautiful. I.AM.ONE. Just today I typed the words, "I HATE my legs...no DESPISE my legs. Like won't wear shorts all summer because of them!"
I watched this sermon today (link at the bottom). Just in case you decide not to listen to it yourself (skip through half of it to get past the giving announcement, worship and baptisms), I'm going to write it out for you and what resonated with me.
The pastor talks about God's boundaries for marriage. Actually he relates to God's boundaries in general. God's "rules" a.k.a. boundaries in the Bible are our blessings.
GOD'S BOUNDARIES IN OUR LIVES ARE GOD'S BLESSINGS IN OUR LIVES
He has designed marriage perfectly with guidelines that don't keep us guessing. In the Word of God he gives us everything we need for this life. He paints a beautiful picture of what marriage is to look like. Let me preface this verse before I get into a heated debate with a woman. In this context J. Vernon MaGee says that the word "submit" actually means respond. So your husband is the initiator and you are to respond.
"Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless."
God created boundaries for marriage by the picture he painted. In the circle of His boundaries are great blessings. A husband and a wife who center their hearts and lives on Christ. A husband and a wife who build their foundation on the One who died for their sins. A husband and a wife who keep their eyes only for each other. Who keep their thoughts captive and look upward to Holiness. These are the great blessings that come from that circle...fulfilled desires, trust, love, protection, laughter, pure joy, peace.
Step outside those boundaries and you have great burdens. Satan doesn't want you to take one giant leap....he wants you to take baby steps outside the circle so you forget what it's like. But leaving that circle a little step at a time leads to burdens, brokenness, emptiness, bondage, distrust, bitterness and it will stay with you.
There is a fascination in our culture with sex. Fifty Shades of Grey proves it. But women...friends...let me tell you that that is not well designed...that is not reality. In the verse above it says that husbands should love their wives like Christ loves the church and GIVES.HIMSELF.UP.FOR.HER. There is not talk in the Bible where handcuffs, swinging, blindfolds, seductive lingerie or bondage are related to how Christ loves His church. Christ came to take us out of bondage so why would he paint a picture even close to it in marriage? I know...I know...I'm super conservative and can be ripped apart for my views. But how about this...in the most intimate book of the bible, Songs of Solomon...is there talk of portraying yourself like a prostitute to your husband? Are there words of "dirty talk" to each other? Is there any indication that the wife was swinging from a rope, dancing on a pole or wearing anything seductive? No. There is the admiration of each other. That's it. Thanking God for each other, for the act He designed and simple just admiring each other...nothing else...no one else. There is fulfillment in that. There is freedom in that. There is beauty in that.
The pastor refers to the book Pulling Back the Shades and mentions the 5 things about a womans heart. I completely agreed wholeheartedly with each and every one! So let's hear them...
1. To escape reality
2. To be cherished by a man
3. To be protected by a strong man
Let me camp on 2 and 3 a minute. These rang so true to my heart for many reasons. I have a dad who is not the greatest at pursuing relationships (I love you dad and I know we've talked about this). So one day I decided that I was going to pursue him. I desired a relationship with my dad. I think because of my decision my dad and I created a pretty personal bond and I am to this day grateful for it because it created a platform for my husband to step in and be that for me. BUT I think there are many daughters out there who do not have that. They longed for it for a lifetime (so it seems) and never got them so they either became bitter and hard or they found it somewhere else. This is where I think women give themselves up for even a tiny taste of what it feels like to be slightly cherished or protected. But in this point when you step outside of the boundaries God created...you realize in this that one is reality (finding a real man who loves you) and one is a fantasy (giving yourself up for a man who just wants a piece).
4. To rescue a man
5. Be sexually alive
The act of sex is not just that. It was intimately, perfectly and beautifully designed for a purpose. IF you are a daughter of the ONE TRUE KING...don't compromise this. Don't look for excitement in a fantasy. Look for it in the reality of your husband. If your past consists of regrets...work it out! because you are chosen to be holy and dearly loved by God. You have been sanctified and justified through the blood of Christ. Because you want to honor the ONE who died for your sins...honor yourself and your husband.
https://newspring.cc/sermons/sex-it-doesnt-have-to-be-grey/the-boundaries-of-sex
"The only esteem that won't abandon us is the esteem given to us by Jesus."
