What we can't afford....

That's a wrap.  

The Pioneer Woman came through once again and the Tukey...well it made my husband fall back in his chair, roll his eyes back in his head and look at me and quietly said (because his mom was in the next room), "This is the best turkey I've ever eaten." That smile...that's what I was striving for.  Potatoes and turkey gravy with green bean casserole and pies, pies and more pies.  Pumpkin with crust cut outs, pumpkin without, pecan pie and the best apple pie we've (yes it's a team effort when it comes to pies) ever made together.  

The table was set and we were there...starting a new tradition of just being us on Thanksgiving.  Because one day it will grow.  These four boys will be bringing home girls someday and we hope marry girls someday and bring grandchildren home.  So this year...it was small and quiet but I know it won't be but a blink of my eyes and this table will be too small...

and just like that...after the turkey brined for a whole day and baked for half of another day...we wrap up Thanksgiving and move on....to my favorite time of the year.  I have three favorites.  Thanksgiving (hence the reason I don't rush past it to put my Christmas decor' up), Christmas and Easter.  Because in this house...they are not about the Turkey and sweet potato casserole, family parties or the ham.  It's not about the games played and the games watched or the rushing to buy the perfect gift and wrapping and unwrapping...in this house it is about one thing...ONE person...Jesus. 

So as I begin putting away my fall decor' and unpacking the Christmas decor' still lost in the garage from the move I begin to think...

There are a million different ways to have a great Christmas.  But there is only one way to ruin a Christmas.

Every year people leave their families on Thanksgiving and go rush through a crowd to buy, buy and buy some more.  Get the deals and the steals and who cares if you don't need it or if it's not even for Christmas...it's a good deal.  I know this...this used to be me.  Spending waaaaaay too much on this friday after we give thanks (that's now turned into Thanksgiving Day) and realizing half of the money spent wasn't even on Christmas gifts....just good deals. But who cares if you can AFFORD it right? In America, I always thought it was easy to look "well off".  Just put it on credit cards and take out loans and you are living the American Dream right?  

Whether you can afford to shop all December long or not...here are some things you cannot afford this Christmas...

Not only we, as a nation, but we as children of God cannot afford to make Christmas about anything else than the One He sent.  Jesus.  I'm not talking about a cake on Christmas Day or a small devotional.  Advent is about preparing and waiting.  Waiting for the coming Christ...the REAL WONDER of Christmas.  Two days until Advent and it's not too late to start.  It's not too late to start half way through December.  But a Christmas without Christ...is just a Holiday. It's the time to clear your calendar and slow your pace and wait...anticipate...and shouldn't we do this all year long...

"No ear may hear his coming, but in this world of sin, where meek souls will receive Him...the dear Christ enters in."

It's where you start from the beginning because that is where Jesus is.  The entirety of the Word of God is about redemption...Jesus coming...God's love for his children. It's where you read about the connections from the Old Testament to this Jesus...God in the flesh.  The God who holds the UNIVERSE, not just our small world, in the palm of his hands...he came down in flesh...not as a mighty king or a valiant warrior...he came small and dependent and through a virgin.  Christmas doesn't lose it's wonder when you don't have piles of presents or an elf on your shelf or a Santa in your chimney...the wonder is in Christ.  

And because of this incredible wonder there is one other thing you cannot afford this Christmas...

You cannot afford to not be thankful.

Because when you think of this....how can you not fall to your knees and give thanks...

"How many kings stepped down from their thrones.  How many lords have abandoned their homes.  How many greats have become the least of these.  How many god's have poured out their hearts to romance a world that is torn all apart...how many fathers gave up their sons for me...only ONE did that for me!"

You can afford to make it a great holiday...but if you don't PREPARE ROOM FOR HIM then it's not the best Christmas...

"Let every heart...prepare him room.  For nothing else compares with you.  Restore the JOY of our salvation Lord.  Prepare our hearts for more of you."

I must first preface this with this: In no way is this post judging those who do Santa and the Elf on the Shelf.  This is how WE do Christmas and you may have your opinions on our theory.  I am strictly writing this post because I've been asked multiple times how we keep Santa out of Christmas so I decided to write a blog post instead of answering everyone individually. ;) with that being said.....

It's beautiful here. 

 Hundreds of reasons to give thanks to the One who created all seasons. 

Winter is upon us. 

I have frosted window panes, weighed down pine trees, wet floors and snow drifting and blowing in all directions...even up the hill from the river. 

I have turkeys and pumpkins and leaves and feel like I am in the wrong season.  That instead I should have snowflakes and snowmen and evergreens.  Winter in the middle of November...I love it!  The season we concentrate on giving thanks and finding Joy in the midst of our giving thanks. 

There are Christmas trees on facebook already and oh.the.commercials.  Those commercials that glorify big chain stores and not being content with what you have.  Those commercials whispering in your ear that for your kids to have a good Christmas they need more things. And instilled in us is this desire to please our kids and give them everything we didn't have.  It was instilled by a God who loves us despite our faults and too wants the best for us...but what we think is the best for us isn't always what He thinks is the best for us...same for your kids.  What they think is the best for them...isn't always the best...in fact, most times it's not.  

I remember growing up and I remember Christmas.  It was definitely about the birth of Christ but it was also about Santa and all about gifts.  We had to believe in Santa.  Yes I had one of those moms who told me I had to believe in Santa and even to this day she makes me participate.  I laugh as I write this because she loves LOVES Christmas.  I love that about her.  My parents stayed up late and pulled all of the presents out and wrapped them nicely and uniformly and put them under the tree and labeled them each with our names and from Santa.  Some kids were traumatized when they found out the truth about Santa and some weren't.  I was not a child whose life was dramatically changed when I found out Santa wasn't real...

Honestly some of the reason we don't do Santa is pure laziness.  It seemed like too much to keep secret and watch what I say.  But then some of it is this...if we only have a short amount of time to raise our kids...we want to spend every single minute we can speaking truth into their lives.  Christmas is magical.  The mystery of Christ makes me fall to my knees and wonder, "who am I".  Christmas is a miracle and I want to shout at the top of my lungs and share that amazing miracle with our kids and everyone around us! 

  

"No ear may hear His coming...but in this world of sin.  Where meek souls will receive Him, our dear Christ enters in."

When I got married my husband and I had to discuss how we would "do" Christmas.  You see I came from a divorced family.  So I got two Christmas' and they were big.  We got everything we wanted and then some...boxes and boxes of stuff and stockings bursting with little goodies.  My husband on the other hand came from a home where Christmas was small and no stockings.  Two different backgrounds coming together to one conclusion...

There's only one way to do Christmas and that is focusing on the One and Only! 

It didn't take us long to make a decision.  And this is what we do....

Christ... JESUS...the name that sounds like breathe Yahweh.  

I am incredibly thankful for Ann Voskamp and her blog! Her ideas and thoughts on the Advent Season have really changed how we do Christmas.  We don't do Santa or the Elf on the Shelf.  We don't do massive amounts of presents and baking cookies for the man on the roof the night before Christmas.  We don't visit Santa or write him letters and guess what...my kids don't feel they are missing out on anything.  

We fill our homes with Christ and prepare room in our hearts for Him...His coming.  When we make room for him as a family...we are filled! 

I prepare for the advent season like I prepare for the home school year.  This is how we fill our hearts with more of Jesus as we prepare for Christmas.  We read a devotional every night.  Ann Voskamp now has two but for two years I only read The Greatest Gift devotional and we did it as a family. 

  

This advent devotional comes complete with a pass-code to download free Jesse Tree ornaments.  We made our Jesse Tree out of twigs.  With each devotional is an ornament along with a family activity.  I looked through the entire devotional and wrote down the family activities on little tags that we hung on a tree along with an act of kindness to do each day.  These acts range from baking cookies for neighbors, making your brothers bed or mailing Christmas goodies to military families.  

Just this year Ann wrote a children's Advent devotional called Unwrapping the Greatest Gift

I highly HIGHLY recommend getting this devotional because let's face it.  Would we do it on our own? This book has it all written out for you and planned.  You just need to open it. 

Two activities we did last year as a family as well was the advent wreath and preparing a manger for baby Jesus.

I ordered this wreath from Ann Voskamp.  Her son hand makes them so I had to wait quite a while for them but it was so worth it (there is an addition to the wreath and a figure of Christ carrying the cross for Lent).  The kids looked forward to moving Mary closer to the center of the wreath as we read about the journey to the birth of our Savior.  The taller candles are for each Advent Sunday and the little one represent the days in between.  Next to our Jesse Tree is our wooden manger with a tin of straw behind it.  Every time someone in the house displayed a loving behavior or an act of kindness without being told was able to put straw in the manger...our goal was to fill it and make it nice before Christmas.  Christmas morning we then pull out a small baby Jesus figure to put in the manger.

Prepare Him room...

I wouldn't change our Christmas traditions for anything.  It's hard yes.  We live in America where people rush out on Thanksgiving and push and shove and yell and grow selfish to get the best deals.  We grew up where Christmas is about the presents and not about the only important Gift given.  We have to be intentional and slow down.  We have to purposefully clear our schedules so that we can make room for Christ.  How do you do that though when you are a part of the Church Christmas program and the Childrens program, or apart of the drama team or Choir or the nativity scenes.  What about Christmas parties, one after another for extended family.  It's hard to be intentional but I always fall back on this question...who am I here to please...man or God? 

Prepare Him room...

My kids know now...that Christmas morning is not about the gifts under the tree but about the gift in our heart.  To help with this and limiting ourselves we do 4 gifts Christmas morning. 

1. something you want

2. something you need

3. something you wear

4. something you read

This helps us limit what we buy and it makes it equal for each kid and they know that they are only getting four gifts Christmas morning.  We also do one family gift (board games, movies, last year we took the plunge and joined the xbox families) and we still do stockings.  But they are filled in advance (like one day) so the kids know we put them there.  

Now as far as that creepy Elf on the Shelf.  I never liked the thought of it.  I didn't like the "incentive" behind it so this year I am doing "kindness kids".  I am going to buy 4 little elf or doll ornaments and every day they will move around the house with a suggestion of being kind to someone.  For example...putting one in a baking bowl with a note that says, "let's bake cookies for our neighbors today" and they will also be found around the house with notes saying, "I really enjoyed watching you make cookies for your neighbors yesterday".  Again, my kids will know it's me but I think it will be a fun addition.  This will be my first year doing this so I'll see how it goes but for those of you who do Elf on the Shelf I highly recommend looking into this tradition.  Make it Christ centered with verses!

Making your Christmas season about Christ means you have to be intentional and it's never too early to start! Get your devotional ordered and decor prepared! Find different "wreaths" of lighting candles than the one I posted...get creative! Make different Advent tags and start making your Christ centered family traditions happen.  I promise you...your kids would rather have you! 

I have had friends ask what we do for Christmas (hence this post) but there was one in particular worried about how her kids would react...if they would feel like they are missing out.  I once heard a quote about you cannot expect to have Godly children without the parents demonstrating Godliness to them.  You cannot expect your kids to seek the true wonder of Christmas unless you demonstrate that wonder.  I let my kids see me cry...every time we watch the Nativity Story (no I don't think they are too young for that), every time we read of Jesus' birth...every time the wise men bend low or the shepherd says his "gift is the hope of waiting for one!".  I let my kids see me cry when the first snow falls and keeps falling and I let them see me affected by the true mystery of a God who holds the heavens in his hands.  I let them see the awestruck wonder when I describe that this God who intricately designed me has chosen to come here, on earth, in flesh to save us!  I let them see me vulnerable and completely in awe.  Because when they see that...they realize it's real...and it's worth giving up the American Christmas for.  

  

spray:wipe:repeat

sipping on sweet steaming tea and resting for a minute or however long I have before the next child bends low over the toilet bowl and heaves as his tiny frame shakes.  Ahhhh 'tis the season I say.  

There is thieves diffusing in two different rooms and sheets sprawled on couches, chicken broth simmering and mouths to be wiped, bowls to be cleaned and laundry to be done.  

spray:wipe:repeat

I was woken up in the dark of night to a voice yelling my name.  He was sick.  Every hour he was needing me.  Then a second one woket...the one we call smalls...needing a little more of me.   Now I'm up more than once every hour.   My friend wrote a blog about serving God in the mundane in life.  Her words are beautiful and you can tell from her writing that her heart is so pure.  She is describing in her blog a very beautiful woman of our church doing the things unseen to make sure the building is a "go" for Sunday's service.  She describes humble service and what it entails.  This read was such an encouragement to me because sometimes in the midst of mundane work here at home I get selfish...real selfish and think I deserve things because I do so much.  I get this way because what I do goes unnoticed.  It goes without recognition.  I continue to do this and it continues to go unnoticed.  Motherhood.

spray:wipe:repeat

And yet, as good as it feels to be noticed, it is 100% completely wrong of me to expect it or feel deserving of it because that is not what Jesus modeled for us...

Jesus came to serve...not to be served. So mom changing yet another dirty diaper, mom wiping the toilet seat one more time, mom doing the dishes again, mom making dinner once again just to have the kids complain about it, mom changing the soaked through sheets once again, mom nursing your child for the 10th time today, mom coming home from a full days work just to put in more hours...give thanks...you're being trained to be like Jesus. 

spray:wipe:repeat

And just because I think my friends blog is worth the read...I'll put it here again.

How we get through the cold/flu season

There is truth to some medicine but I personally not a fan of pumping my kids full of medicine every time they come down with something.  So here are some of my natural "go to's" during this season.

Homemade disinfectant complete with vinegar, water, organic liquid soap, lemon slices and thieves blend.  This year I added pine, clove and cinnamon to my cleaner to give it a winter-y smell!

 

Homemade chicken broth...mmmmmmm....sooo good!  There is nothing better during the flu than sipping on some steaming hot chicken broth and it makes every homemade chicken noodle soup incredibly amazing!!!! Here is a great step by step picture recipe for organic homemade chicken stock! 

Kombucha!!! yeah...not for everyone! But I found a recipe that my kids and myself truly enjoy and it's a great way to get us all good healthy probiotics! A great recipe is right here and my favorite way to flavor it is with Zinger Raspberry tea bags!

 Lastly....besides diffusing and rubbing thieves and coconut oil on your feet...never underestimate the power of a steaming hot bath with thieves and Epsom Salts in it...I am convinced it cures it (or maybe it's my little excuse to get away ;) ).

The end of Autumn is drawing near...and we are not ready.  There is wood to be stacked, windows to be sealed, leaves to be raked and winter gear to buy.  Yet still the snow falls...quietly, slowly, softly and I sit still...amazed.  Every year I wait more eagerly than the first for this white lovely wonder to fall.  There is frost on the windows, literally because we up and bought an old 1920's house, with old windows and little heat.  There is clove, cinnamon and pine oils diffusing and filling the house with winter goodness.  Peppermint green tea is steaming in my face and touching my lips.  All four boys are resting...ahhhh resting...God's incredible gift to parents...discovered!

I sip on my wintery drink and still...recovering from the weekend away with women.  Realizing I am old and that if I don't get adequate sleep my life is flipped upside down.  Yes...still recovering...I'm only 30. I have come to the decision that I cannot leave for a weekend.  Recovering not only from lack of sleep but from the house lacking any housekeeping...it's not for me.  I go away for one whole day and one night and come home.  While I'm supposed to come home relaxed and refreshed...all I could think of was...did the laundry get switched or are there moldy clothes in the washer, how does the bathroom smell, did the boys take care of any of their clothes or get bathed at all, I have to clean these floors and counters and oh.those.dishes.  Moving to this house we sacrificed many things and one of them was a dishwasher...well it's me now..all me.  My house cannot be like this! It just can't.

  

WHY? 

I was sitting in a room with 52 women.  Most all vulnerable and some desperate.  The mic gets passed around with one question lingering in each woman's head.

what do you need God to redeem in your life?

I couldn't help but notice a HUGE pattern around the circle.  I couldn't help but allow a little anger to build up in me.  Not at all towards any women...not at all towards their circumstances but towards this world and the standards it holds for women...for mothers.  These standards are causing these women to feel failure daily...to feel unworthy daily...to feel rejected and slain.  My heart hurts for the woman whose tears fall because of yelling at her children, tears well up as one recognizes she crushed her child instead of building them up, I nod in agreement when one expressing the exhaustion coming from motherhood...

this is right where God wants you...

there is a great parallel in our Christian walk and life with Christ's purpose here on earth.  From reading True Spirituality by Francis Shaeffer I am learning just in the second chapter about the centrality of death.  This parallel is that Christ came to earth not to be loved by many but to be rejected, slain and risen.  In our daily walk as a Christian we are to be rejected and slain and allow nothing but the love and blood of Jesus and his grace offered to raise us. I don't know about for you but for me? I need Jesus most when I am in these positions that motherhood often puts us in.  Positions where I am irritable, impatient, unloving, feeling unworthy, rejected and slain. Because what is the gospel if we are not in these positions? We have no authority over the gospel.  We will never "arrive" in our faith until we are falling on our knees, bending incredibly low at the feet of Jesus as he sits at the right hand of our Father.  As long as we are on this earth we will always ALWAYS need the gospel.  To me there is no better training ground in becoming more like Christ than in parenting.  

The snow is falling in bigger ways now...but still soft, slow and quiet.  I refill my tea and think...God brings life out of death!  Yes it's truth...it's scripture...it's written and God-breathed.  

Soon here the little world around us will be transformed.  Dead leaves with no color left, bare branches and the coarse crispy grass will be blanketed with this soft, quiet snow.  The tea is warming my body now as I realize that is a parallel as well.  Because when we believe in Jesus Christ, we are covered by his blood.  His blood, love and grace blanket our lives.  He transforms us.  

As moms we will mess up.  We will make an "on the spot" decision of tearing our kids down as opposed to building them up.  We will fail and fall and feel unworthy and rejected.  We will make mistakes. But what's most important is what we do after we blow it or in the midst of blowing it or when you feel like you want to blow it.  

When you "seek first His Kingdom and His righteousness" all these things will be added.  Meaning if you seek Christ first in your life and in the role of mothering...he bless you.  Expectations of how you mother should not be of this world.  Your realistic expectations should come from focusing on God and everything he has already provided for you.  Because reality is when we get our worth from anything other than God, it enslaves us.  

God made no mistake in making you a mother.  He had you chosen before you thought about becoming one.  He didn't pick you because he knew you would do a perfect job.  He didn't pick you because you were even qualified.  We are, in my opinion, not qualified to be mothers.  Because we naturally do not want to die to ourselves.  We are selfish and prideful and arrogant.  But we are chosen because HE is qualified.  When we rest in his truth.  When he says to come to him when you are weary and burdened and He will give you rest...he means it.  Moms...he chose you for a great purpose and reason but he didn't choose you and expect for you to do it alone.  He wants you to run into his arms and find rest, find your worth and your expectations in him alone.  

Motherhood is not easy.  It's intentional.  Intentionally relying on Christ.  Intentionally making room for the mystery...our Savior.  Intentionally inviting him in daily and intentionally listening to the Holy Spirit.  Intentionally choosing to find thanks in all things because when you are intentionally searching for gifts...you find joy.  Intentionally giving grace freely because it's been given to you. 

Intentionally remembering the joys of life as a mom.  Intentionally being willing to have a fresh start the next day because His mercies are new every morning...

Intentionally reminding yourself of truth, God-breathed promises....

If we want to succeed in being a mother...we must intentionally make room for Him.