House Reno :: {Week 2}

Moving into week two of our house renovations and let.me.tell.you...it is wearing...

Our check list...yeah nothing got done.  Let me be raw and honest with you (which I tend to do on this blog) and give you my 100% emotions and feelings.  

I was angry at my husband all week long.  I was mad that we moved there and that things were going the way they were.  He said he was going to measure everything he needed to so that the lumber could be ordered right when we moved in.  He never did.  We just dropped off the prints today and will get a quote tomorrow or wednesday and then all of the special order pieces will get ordered to do our addition.  We stayed an entire week in the house without a working drain field before we got quotes and before we had a committed date as to when it would get fixed.  THE TIME IS TICKING!  I grew bitterness and resentment because I thought that he wasn't pursuing the things I thought he should at the rate I thought he should.  I was impatient in every.single.area of my life.  Let me tell you...God taught me huge this week...and all in a week!  During the week I decided I was going to go live with my grandma back in Sparta until the drain field was fixed.  I figured it would be easier to do this than to pack up every other day to find somewhere to do laundry and take showers.  I sent out prayer requests to my friends, begging them for prayer over our marriage.  We are still strong but we were at a point honestly I didn't like at all.  We acted like we didn't like each other...like we were just living together or even worse forced to live together and fix up an old house.  I spent the next few days still unhappy...searching for joy in the small things but feeling alone and feeling like nothing is getting started. 

I asked Brian what made this house a "home" for him.  I asked him this because he kept saying, "I'm home!" and then would ask me why I didn't feel like I was home and I couldn't really give him a good answer.  

Why this home is a home for Brian:

1.  He doesn't feel like a stranger.  He feels like this is where he's supposed to be.

2.  The land and the river is his dream

3.  He's excited for all of the renovations because it feels home ;)

What would make this house feel like a home to me:

1. memories

2.  making it my own

3. pictures (which I can't hang because I can't find and I want to paint)

4.  Being settled (which seems so.far.off)

I woke up Saturday morning with an overwhelming sense of the Holy Spirit telling me to just stay put.  So I went to Brian and told him I was going to my moms that day to do laundry, can peaches and tomatoes, give the boys showers and myself one but that I would be coming home that night.  He sighed a big sigh of relief, hugged me so incredibly tight and thanked me.  Let me tell you...that small act of obedience to God has rewarded me so incredibly much.  Yes...our marriage is still tense.  I've heard someone say that if you can survive a house renovation...your marriage will survive anything ;).  But by that small act of obedience...a smile had returned to Brians face and I felt relief.  I felt lighter.  Here is what I learned...

Sometimes you get low in life (I realize that everyone has different lows).  But sometimes you get to a point where you throw your hands up and say, "God I listened to you! You wanted me here! But it doesn't seem like you want me here! Nothing is going right! I feel frustrated and fed up! What is is you want me to learn???" and just then it comes to me that that is exactly what God wants me to learn.  To.let.go! To throw my hands up in the air and just give it to God.  How often I forget that God is in the details! God is in the moment right now...no matter where you are in life...He is there.  God is in all the blurs of life - even the hurts of life.  And when you come to realize that you learn to give thanks in all circumstances! And "as long as thanks is possible, then joy is always possible. Joy is always possible!".  When I stop giving thanks and seeing God in the small and the big, I lose all opportunity for Joy to reign in my life.  And a thankless life is really the biggest fall of mankind.  Ingratitude.  

So here is me working and learning to find joy by giving thanks!

For finding routine again....

For finding my love for fall again....

and for finding small joys in making this house a home....

As for the bathroom...we are getting everything picked out and ready to renovate.  I cannot tell you HOW MUCH I HATE sitting on someone else's toilet....I squat ;) but cannot wait until I can replace it ;)

As far as the sink last week I asked for your vote on which sink display you liked best.  I decided after thinking long and hard on this that I am going to go with the two dressers.  This is what I've always wanted and I don't really want to compromise permanent things like this if I don't have to.  So I am on the look out for two dressers...not necessarily matching but they need to be older, smaller and not super wide ;) something like this....

But the sinks will be like this ;)...

We got the plans drawn up for our addition...which is kind of exciting!  

This is the exterior plan...

On the dormers and the gables we will do a cedar shake in a wood color...still going with vinyl. 

Something like this...

Obviously our house doesn't look like this ;) but get visual with me.  The cedar shake will look like this (the wood looking part)...

This is the color siding I'd love to go with (not cedar shake) with colored accent doors...

 and shutters like below...

So what do you think? 

House Reno :: {Week 1}

I'm not sure we can call it a complete week but we are! We are ready to start new! 

Let me catch you up! 

1. we sold our house in 6 days

2. we couldn't find a place to buy/move into to and we weren't really willing to "settle"

3.  we found a 1925 fixer upper on 7 acres on the Muskegon River (river frontage)

4.  we moved out of our house last Sunday so that we didn't have to move in the middle of the week and so we could get it cleaned up for the new homeowners

5.  we stayed in our friends guest house for the days in between having to be out of our house and moving into the old/new house. 

whew! 

We said "good bye" to our house on Wednesday.  This was a terribly hard thing to do.  I begged my husband to come home and help me but he just couldn't.  It felt as if I was glued to the floor.  I literally couldn't walk out the front door.  I was soaked in tears and felt paralyzed.  I was explaining to the boys one...more...time that we were not going to be coming back to this house.  Zak, my super soft and tender heart-ed son, started crying as well.  We don't look super happy but we wanted to "document" our last day there..as tough as it was.

To spare my own tears again ;) I won't go into detail WHY this was hard.  So let's move on!

We stayed in a little old farm house on the "Winell Ranch" for the remainder of the week until we could close on the "river shack" on Thursday morning.  We got possession of the house that afternoon.  I grabbed my husband his favorite beer and a fish grilling pan and welcomed him home.  He is incredibly excited to be at the "river shack".  I can honestly say it's his dream! So that makes every fight, every drop of sweat, every tear and blood to come worth it! 

We "moved in" Thursday night and we had dear dear friends who came and helped clean and unpack a little.  We slept our first night in our new/old house.  Exhausted but motivated to renovate! 

Call me crazy but I think I had way too high of expectations of how this renovation would go.  I will admit right now...I am naive and did not expect many bumps...that was shot down to the ground on day one!

We woke up and Benjamen needed a bath right away.  He went to the bathroom and I started running the bath.  Within minutes the toilet and the sink in the bathroom started backing up and our bathroom was flooded.  

Rise and Shine! huh? This is still a problem we are working on.  Someone somewhere didn't do their job and we found out the hard way...BUT we are finding the joy in the fact that this happened on the first day there...not six months down the road.  

Here are some of the instagram posts from this week...

"Different view this morning.  Because I am too blessed to be stressed...I will be thankful and filled with joy! Thankful that we have a house on the river, crappy as I may think it is, it's what God gave us and I will be grateful! For a warm heating blanket, for my husbands work now being 5 minutes away, for friends who helped us move! Let the 1925 house renovations begin! Buying paint today! and shopping for wood floors! Thankful for these "sweet williams" flowers from a sweet friend!"

"My favorite fall flower.  Thanks friend for the housewarming gift!"

"Waking up in a place I cannot yet call home (because I haven't made it home) and having one thing after another go wrong.  Leaks, drain fields, peeing in the car (ben), more unexpected money spent, and backing into a tree.  I can honestly say I am physically, spiritually, mentally and emotionally drained...so this "mug" therapy is helping me tonight! Thankful it's a new day tomorrow and His mercies are new everyday!"

"Little house warming gift from a sweet aunt and neighbor (because 7 miles away up here is still a neighbor).  Grateful for a good night sleep and a new day!"

"Little sister helping me make this a home!"

This week was hard.  Not only are we renovating a home but we are renovating our lives and finding our weaknesses, struggles and how to love each other through our impatience, irritability and obstacles in our way.  How to rid ourselves of ungodliness as we tear into a home.  Thankful for his promises this week...that His mercies are new every morning.  That although it was hard to leave my home...it's temporary...God is still good and my home in Him is eternal.  No matter how hard this move will be for us...HIS power is made PERFECT in our weakness.  That I can love my family unconditionally because He loves me and I am so incredibly undeserving of it.  Makes the troubles of renovating a house seem small...

You are my portion, Lord;
    I have promised to obey your words.
58 I have sought your face with all my heart;
    be gracious to me according to your promise.
59 I have considered my ways
    and have turned my steps to your statutes.
60 I will hasten and not delay
    to obey your commands.

Because of our big/small troubles we will have to renovate the bathroom first.  You can kind of get a glimpse of it in the picture above.  It is long and narrow but I have big plans for it ;)

Here is our check list:

-  rip up flooring

-  get rid of sink and toilet

-  tile shower and replace fixtures in shower

-  replace vanity and mirrors and sink

-  tile floor and replace toilet

-  take off closet door, re-do shelving and make it organized open shelving

-  curtains

- install shelving behind toilet

-  decor

I wouldn't mind taking a vote...

What is your opinion on the bathroom vanities...

something like this?

Keep in mind we are going for a farm house look with lots of character...(I am not a modern decor' fan)...

a trough style sink ... so we would just take the top of the vanity off here and add a trough style sink with two faucets.  

or something like this....

or two of these...

and the wall colors will be this by Sherwin Williams...

This will be the only bathroom for now so it needs to suite the entire family so unfortunately pedestal sinks are out.  But let me know your opinion please! I will gladly take suggestions! Just so you can see it all this is our color palette for the entire house...

 

Raising my coffee mug and toasting coffee to a new week! 

Hello Blog.  It's been a while.  I feel honestly like I have had nothing worth saying at all...and I'm okay with that because honestly...sometimes being quiet is the best thing you can do right?

I went through my facebook emails because I know I missed some over this past crazy week and reopened some wounds that I thought were healed...

I feel like God is exposing sin after sin in my life.  It doesn't help that we are reading "respectable sins" in our small group and that points out all of the little subtle sins in the church.  Things like impatience, irritability, gossip/slander, our minds, judgement etc.  SELFISHNESS...ya know...little sins that everyone says is "okay" and really they are not.  

I have had a very emotional week.  We are moving...we are moving out of our new and beautiful home and not because we don't love it...we do.  If we could pick it up and move it I would pay the money to do so.  But we don't love the location.  Yes it's close to family and friends but it's a sub-division.  I know..most people love them and are trying to get in them..we however want out so badly.  So I really am dealing with the emotions of selling this home that my husband worked so incredibly hard at.  Watching him work so hard on it was a real picture of his love for me and our family.  He wanted to provide a good home for us and worked hard to do so.  As my tummy was growing daily...he worked harder to complete this house before our first born came.  That is a real picture of love.  So yes, I'm having a hard time leaving that. 

How do I deal with it? I keep in my mind a picture of Brian and his friend Justin running down to the river at the new house.  Brian had a smile on his face when he went down to the river and a bigger smile when he came back up.  He lights up when we pull in the driveway and he is truly happy there.  

I know some have been patiently waiting to see where we are moving.  I have given you a little insight to what it is.  It is small.  It is simple.  It needs help...lots of it.  It needs a cosmetic make over and a renovation inside plus we are planning to rip the roof off and add a second story.  

So....here it is...

Looks rough right? Alright let me explain what we are going to do.  That front part is the living room/dining room/front porch (I'll take pictures when we get in).  It has a gorgeous fire place and lots of knotty pine which we will be painting...I know...I know...everyone gasp and get over it ;).  The back part of the house is a bedroom, small and cozy, the kitchen (which is actually really big), bathroom and a laundry room/mud room.  Those front windows...look at them...they are gorgeous.  They're all around the house and yes I will search and shop to find ones exactly like them! 

There is an attic with a good set of stairs already there which is a blessing in disguise.  So basically we are taking the roof off and adding 5 ft walls along with dormers off each side and out the front of the house to let in lots of natural light in the upstairs.  My whole "inspiration" is this....wood floors, bright classic neutral colors...updated farm house (although it's a river house).  This house sits on the Muskegon River and is also on 7 acres.  It has a gorgeous long driveway with a turn around there.  The front of the house faces the river.  I don't have pictures of the inside but here are my inspirations for now and then I'll show them room by room as we go!

This is the inspiration for the garage.  That needs a lot of work as well but that will be the last thing we work on ;) I love the siding color and the shutter color. 

I was going to try and upload every picture that I thought you should see for my inspiration BUT I am just going to put the link on here instead. 

Here are few things I am undecided on...

paint the kitchen cabinets or not?

do a butcher block counter top or not? If so...what color...does it have to match the wood floor we are doing through the whole house?

Do wood floor in the bathroom or not? If not what kind of flooring?

Find a spot for a double oven or not? 

What are some necessities for sharing one bathroom? (yes some may think we're crazy but I don't mind only cleaning one bathroom for a while).

Here is the pinterest board to view of all of my inspirations for this home! Enjoy and I can't wait to hear your feedback/opinions on the questions above ;) 

Happy First Day :: {choose JOY mama's}

Rise and shine...a new day has dawned...which means you have been given yet another grace in life...breath for another day.  You have received new mercies because HIS are new every morning.  He has given you another chance to choose how you respond to this day...trusting Him in it, love, peace, patience, kindness, self-control, gentleness, JOY, goodness...or you can choose stress, anxiety, regrets, impatience, frustration which are all linked to not trusting.  

Here are some tips to help you start your day.

Read Matthew 6:33 and pray...

"But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well".

Throughout your day, create a habit that God has ordained this day and the events happening specifically for you! Don't fight it...because if you do and think your plan is better...well you may just miss out on experiencing Him in your day.

1.  Guess what mama...YOU are not in charge of your day.  Open those hands up and receive what God has laid out for you and remember to fall to those knees daily.

2.  God is leading us every day.  This past weeks sermon was so perfect for daily reminders.  God will put difficult things in your day but those are not to hurt you but to remind you to fully depend on Him.

3.  None of use can face this alone!  If we have patience it's because he supplied it.  If we have energy it's because he provided it!

4.  Begin your day in the Bible...it gives you an energy like nothing else...even better than a protein filled breakfast and a good run.

5.  Ingrain this little detail into your head so that every time you look at your children you remember it...these are not your children.  They were gifted to you by God and they.are.HIS.  Pray all day long what God wants you to teach them today.  

And while the kids are learning their ABC's maybe you can take time and memorize yours?