We sold our house this week.  It was on the market for 5 days when we got our first offer.  Admitted-ling it was a horribly stressful week.  It almost felt as if the house wasn't ours for that week.  We were no longer "living" in it.  We were preparing it for someone else.  Do you believe God can teach you in even the smallest of things? I do.  

As we were hustling and bustling to get the house ready I remember going through and touching up paint mis-haps...cleaning corners that haven't been touched or dusting light fixtures I thought just looked that way.  I remember seeing dents in the wall and being able to name where that one came from.  I covered them as best I could.  There's a stain in the carpet...quick move a piece of furniture over it.  Wipe down and make it sparkle...presentable...

Oh! How we do this in life.  We sin...we hide.  We let the lies of not being good enough push us into a hiding spot so good no one can find us...we "fix" dents and paint mis-haps...places we've screwed up...places we've lived...to be presentable to a world of judgement...maybe even a God we've painted as judgmental.  

Hiding is a dangerous, slippery slope in my opinion.  Because you get good at it.  Maybe it starts from shame...guilt but then you realize you've got the world fooled and you continue to go deeper into your hiding place and it gets darker....because sin...it's dark and there is no end...it keeps going deeper and deeper and darker and darker.  

As I walk through the house I realize...I can't fix these dents.  I can't fix the broken drywall, the cracked grout or the broken outlet...I can't fix them.  I can try and I can put a temporary solution on them but I cannot fix them.

I cannot fix the sin in me.  I cannot fix my scars and dents from life.  I cannot fix my mistakes or any dishonor I've caused anyone.  And every time I try to...I take away from the Cross.  I tell God..."your son wasn't good enough for me".  Because when we try and fix our sin...we've missed the point of grace.  We've missed the point of the Cross and we have let our circumstances rule and make a statement that these circumstances are more important that just resting in Jesus and HIS work on the cross...not ours.

"You don’t have to hide your filth, you don’t have to hide your scars, you don’t have to hide your shame –  because He justifies the ungodly.

Grace is a call to come out of hiding, because God, not us, makes us right and changes our heart."

~www.aholyexperience.com~

When we understand the power of the Cross...the grace filled work of Jesus...we no longer have to hide because we are ungodly...we just have to trust.  We will always be broken...we will always sin and fail and have dents and patches, scars and bruises...but we are more beautiful because of them...because each time we trust that His mercies are new every morning...we are renewed...forgiven...considered righteous...pure...accepted and loved.  

Our stay-cation has ended...I am kind of sad.  There were really good times and really hard times in this week of staying home but it was so worth it! To me...the reason for vacation is to step away from life...from schedules...from "to-do's"...anxieties and worry and hurry.  Because we need to face it sometime and sometimes it's harder than others but anxiety, frustration and anger are sin...and sin has no bottom...it digs eternally deep and ruins you.  And hurry? Well I am convinced that is the root of all anxiety, frustration and anger in my life.  My to-do list, expectations, go go go! And when you hurry...you hurt because sin is not comforting..it's hurtful.  It doesn't want the best for you...it wants to see you fail...fall...draw away from God and doubt yourself to the fullest.  Sin takes away all joy that you are supposed to profess, scream from the mountain tops and let flow out of you when you are a believer!

It didn't take me long into this vacation to return to this anxiety...needing to get things done and on a certain timeline...I failed.  It's literally by the grace of God and NOTHING ELSE...NOTHING IN MY HANDS...that I was able to get back up and redeem our stay-cation!

If you didn't see the beginning of our stay-cation check it out here! We celebrated the 4th of July with some pretty amazing friends.  It's turning to our annual celebration!

We decided with the craziness of life to make it even more crazy and put our house up for sale...officially...

I have to say...I LOVE our house.  Even just looking at it right now tears me up a bit.  We got married and started building this house.  This is the first house we called home and brought every single one of our babies home in this house.  We have so many great memories with this house and there is something AMAZING when I think that my dad and husband and his dad (and many other great people) built this house with their hands...I walk through the house and know these walls were put up and secured by the love of my life and he worked HARD...like went to his day job and came home and worked his butt off to get this house finished before we welcomed our first baby into it...see? crying....BUT we do not want to be here forever.  We love our location...it's a great lot but that is what it is...a lot.  With four boys we want room to run, be loud, hunt and explore...we don't have that here...and so was our prayerful decision...

This may have led to some anxiety throughout the week...just preparing for our showings but God is good and gave us time and a calming peace about it.  

Wednesday morning we woke up determined to go to the beach...who cares if it was only 64 degrees out...it was on our bucket list and we were going to accomplish it! So we packed up and headed out...

and you know what? the weather didn't stop the kids and we had fun...

and Auntie came and Paigey came and Cody came and my friend Dusty came with her kids...and the sun came out and no one wanted to leave...the ONLY motivation was this....

Getting to see my best friend and her family from Wisconsin...it was SO MUCH FUN!!!! Catching up and spending time with their kids.  I cried like a baby because well...she is that friend that even after not seeing each other for 2 years you pick right back and you're caught up...just the hour visit and we talked about so much and laughed and cried...I just love her and it almost doesn't seem real now that we spent time together...

Thursday my sisters came over and we hung out (although I washed windows) our kids played and screamed and painted and laughed.  I love my nieces...they are full of character and life and it's always refreshing to spend time with them.  During the day another sweet friend who I haven't spent time with in a while texted asking to hang out.  You see this is how God works.  Because in the midst of doubting my friendships and who I am as a friend God re-assured me three times in one week that they are secured...

This friend...she is amazing.  She loves God and I love that she is such an inspiration to many! She has been through trial after trial and we talked about how we'd rather go through trials than be idle...I am ALWAYS blessed by my time with her and honestly blessed by watching our husbands be together...because I do feel like they may have been brothers separated at birth :)

I laughed and calmed as I listened to my baby sister and my oldest son camp out in a tent and tell stories and make memories...

And we made more memories by visiting "Grandma Great" Ginger at Chinook Campground...I LOVE watching them with her and she was brave enough to keep the oldest two overnight...

They got to spend time with Uncle and play in the pool and share ice cream...making more memories...

and that my friends wraps up our stay-cation...I'd do it again in a heartbeat!

Berenbrock Stay-cation 2014

Last December when I bought my 2014 calendar I was determined not to get over booked this year with things and photoshoots.  I drove myself crazy last year and feel like I missed a lot.  So this year I crossed off certain weeks in the calendar where we would vacation...even if it's home.  Long story short but we were very sad when Brian's request for vacation got denied.  However...we are choosing to make the best out of it and not stress with the things that need to get done or the places we could be or the people we could see...we are trying to have a relaxing stay-cation...right here in our everyday lives.

It couldn't have fallen on a more perfect week.  Last week and weekend were crazy busy and I kept telling myself to "push through" Sunday morning service (being there at 7am for worship practice) and then it starts.  

If you haven't caught up on our lives a little here's a little bit of it.  The realtor comes tomorrow to take pictures of our house.  Tomorrow.  There is a ton to get done and thankfully for pictures I can shove things into closets and be done with it ;) ... but still there is that sense of finalizing things.  The reality of moving out of the house that has all of it's "firsts" in it...and the house that my dad and my husband built with their hands.  There is a perspective house we are looking at and it's smaller.  Ultimately it's in God's hands and if he wants us here we will stay here and we are confident that He will open the doors to the next house.  Brian asked me last week, "so are you prepared to answer people when they scrutinize you for wanting to go smaller with a growing family (no I am not pregnant but we are still waiting to adopt)?"  

Living more simple.  It's so counter-cultural...but it's my dream.  I don't need or want a huge fancy house that can host big parties or has multiple empty rooms.  I want something where my family is kind of crammed into so we can see more of each other.  I don't want a house where there is so much room I don't see my kids for hours at a time...I want them there.  I don't want a place that takes me days to clean...I want a place of retreat where cleaning is quick, simple and gives me more time in life.  I want to live more simple and I know "bigger and better" screams success...but I measure success differently than the world.  Success to me is running the race of faith and running it well.  Do I fall? absolutely...daily actually.  Success to me is raising my kids to have a love relationship with Jesus Christ.  Success to me is having a love relationship with my kids.  Success to me is having a marriage built on Christ and continually falling deeper in love with my husband.  Success to me is less things, less scheduled, less to-dos and more life, relationships and time in the Word.  Will I fail and still over schedule and still let anxiety creep in? yes...but it's my goal to work on it...daily.  

Living more simple is a discipline...it's a life change...it doesn't just happen...it's intentional. This past weekend we really focused on time with relationships and it was so rewarding...

We didn't focus on the time.  We layed out on rafts, laughed hard about having to change a bathing suit under water (wink wink Dana), we tubed and laughed, we ate well and splashed, we watched the sun start at one end of the lake and end at the other...we watched fireworks, roasted marshmallows, fished, plugged our ears and snuggled on the couch.  

We canoed down the river and soaked in God's glory.  The men fished again and the women rowed and laughed...observed and fell a little more in love watching our husbands fish...

We declared Sunday a "family nap" afternoon and soaked that in...a pretty good view in my opinion...

I cherished time with this man and his wife...knowing that the skin is growing older and the walk is getting harder...but rejoiced as I watch the inner child in him come out by blowing stuff up in our front yard...

We experimented with smore's a little...

and yesterday we went cherry picking...

and I measure success when my  8 year old says this..."mom remember when we talked about seeds being like God's Word? well I was thinking that when I pick Cherries that they are like God's people and there are some mushy ones and maybe that is Satan trying to attack God's people"...good enough for me little thinker....

We are making cherry tarts and pie filling and raspberry jam, drinking sweet iced tea 

 and enjoying life!

Stay tuned...I'll be documenting our family "stay-cation" throughout the week!